gentle thoughts for today

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by coyote, Aug 31, 2008.

  1. coyote

    coyote Master of the Pit

    [FONT='Times New Roman', serif]Gentle Thoughts for Today--[font=Verdana, sans-serif]
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    Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.[/font]
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    When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself. [/font]
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    A penny saved is a government oversight.
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    The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.[/font]
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    The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.[/font]
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    The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement[/font]
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    He who hesitates is probably right.[/font]

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    Did you ever notice:[/font]
    [font=Tahoma, sans-serif]The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."[/font][font=Tahoma, sans-serif]
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    If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.[/font]
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    If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame.[/font]
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    The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.[/font]
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    There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt[/font]
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    Did you ever notice:[/font]
    [font=Tahoma, sans-serif] When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."[/font][font=Tahoma, sans-serif]

    Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.[/font]
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    The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.[/font]
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    Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.
    I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.[/font]
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    When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.[/font]
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    You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.[/font]
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    One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.[/font]
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    Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.[/font]
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    First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
    It's worse when you forget to pull it down.[/font]
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    Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft
    Today, it's called golf[/font]
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    Lord,[/font]
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    Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth...AMEN..!![/font]
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