Difference of Alcohol & Water

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by crewdawg52, Nov 12, 2007.

  1. crewdawg52

    crewdawg52 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Water, Beer, Wine & Liquor


    To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... and those who don't?
    As Ben Franklin said:

    In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is
    bacteria.

    In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated
    that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we
    would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) -
    bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of
    poop. [​IMG]

    However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila,
    rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a
    purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

    Remember: Water = Poop, Wine & Beer = Health Therefore, it's better to
    drink wine & beer and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of
    sh$t.

    There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it
    as a public service.

    Yours Truely......CrewDawg52 [​IMG]
     
  2. monstah

    monstah Meat Mopper

    I'll buy that! Now, where's my beer...
     
  3. flagriller

    flagriller Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    Ok, but what's this thing you refer to, water? [​IMG][​IMG]
     
  4. homebrew & bbq

    homebrew & bbq Smoking Fanatic

    I know several people who will be happy to receive this "news flash" (including myself)!!! [​IMG]
     
  5. deejaydebi

    deejaydebi Smoking Guru

    ROFLMAO! I knew there was a good reason for it!
     
  6. hawgheaven

    hawgheaven Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Let alone the poop content, do you realize what fish do in it? [​IMG]
     
  7. shellbellc

    shellbellc Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Not only that, but you get smarter drinking beer!! Ask Cliff Claven from Cheers:

    "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.

    Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine!

    That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
     
  8. capt dan

    capt dan Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    I knew it, I knew it. Can't wait till I tell my wife, and my doctor!
     
  9. ba_loko

    ba_loko Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    No, Phil. Please tell us. [​IMG]
     

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