Skeleton walks into a bar, says "Bartender ... gimme a beer and a mop." ----------- A Catholic, a Protestant and a Jew, an American, a Mexican and a Russian, a frog, a giraffe and a kangaroo all walk into a bar. Bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?" ------------ A horse goes into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" ------------ Four ropes walk into a bar and grab a table. One rope goes up to the bar to get some beers. The bartender says "Hey, you're one of those ropes, we don't allow your kind in here". The rope goes back to the table and tells the others what happened. One of the ropes starts untwisting his ends and ties himself in knots. He goes up to the bar to get some beers. The bartender looks at him kind of funny and says "Are you one of those ropes?. "Nope, I'm a frayed knot". ------------ Guy rushes up to the bar and says, "Gimme a scotch on the rocks!" Bartender pours it, guy downs it and says, "Quick, gimme another one before the trouble starts!" Bartender pours another and the guy downs it. "Hurry!" he says, "Another, before the trouble starts!" Bartender says, "Buddy, you owe me 7 bucks." Guy says, "Oh God, it's starting..." ------------- A grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartender says "we have a drink named after you". Grasshopper asks, "you have a drink named Steve?"