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Don't Fart In Bed

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
loudly every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water
and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to
stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he
could not stop it and that it was perfectly natural.

She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would
blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out!

Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey and her
husband was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had
put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts
and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs
where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed
covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and
emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
which was followed
by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran
into the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture, she reckoned she
had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.

All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you".

"What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts
out, and today it finally happened.

But by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got
most of them
back in.
post #2 of 4
good one vul
post #3 of 4
Thats to funny. Good one vul.

post #4 of 4
By the grace of God....i bet God had to bite his lip too. Good one.icon_mrgreen.gif
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