Dad Jokes

ks8829 · Mar 16, 2017

Below are my favorite dad jokes:

1) What is the best time to see a dentist?

2) What did the buffalo say to his son when he went off to college?

3) What did the 79 year old pirate say on his next birthday?

4) How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laught?

Answers

1) 2:30

2) Bison

3) Hi matie

4) Ten, tentacles

Any dad jokes you can share?

Thanks in advance for your reply

hb99 · Mar 16, 2017

Not really joke, but fun to play with kids who already know how to count..and understand it's only a joke:

Ask them how many fingers they have. They'll say 10. And you say really?

Then let them count their fingers, 1 hand 1-2-3-4-5 next 6-7-8-9-10.

Then count yours and go 1-2-3-4-5, then ask right? They'll agree.

Then point to the finger they said was 10 and ask : you said this one was 10? They'll agree.

Then count 10-9-8-7-6 and ask what are 5 + 6? Answer: 11.

ks8829 · Mar 16, 2017

How do you make 7 even?

Answer

take away the "s"

ks8829 · Mar 21, 2017

Medical Jokes

1) Did you know there is a cure for Swine & Bird Flu?

2) What do you call it when you can not go pee?

Answers

1) Ointment and treatment

2) Urine trouble

sqwib · Mar 21, 2017

My Favorite Silly Dad jokes

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

You neak up on it

How do you catch a tame rabbit?

The Tame way, you neak up on it.

ks8829 · Mar 21, 2017

1) Why can 2 Vegan not be mad at each other?

2) What is the difference between a guitar and a fish?

Answers

1) They would not have a beef together

2) You can tune a guitar but you can not tune a fish

hawkce541 · Mar 21, 2017

Why did God give Marines one more brain cell than a horse?

So they wouldn't poop during a parade.

So says the Army guy...lol

andreasalberz · May 16, 2017

Why is 9 afraid of 7?

Answer : Because 7 ate 9. (7, 8, 9)

sunerylander · May 16, 2017

[h3]"A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, 'Sorry we don't serve food here".[/h3]

lancep · May 16, 2017

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Cause it was dead

ks8829 · May 17, 2017

Did you know math is polite?

What is 5 + 5 and add the letter Q = 10Q you are welcome!

natej · Jul 10, 2017

Q. What do call cheese thats not yours

A. Nacho cheese.

3 guys walk into a bar.. youd think the 3rd one would have seen it

bluewhisper · Jul 10, 2017

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

bluewhisper · Jul 11, 2017

Father: "Son, see that big V of geese flying over?"

Son: "Yeah."

Father: "You notice how one side of the V is longer than the other?"

Son: "Yeah."

Father: "Do you know why that is?"

Son: "No, why?"

Father: "There are more geese on that side."

.

natej · Jul 11, 2017

2 antennnas fell in love and got married.. the wedding was terrible but the reception was fantastic!

johnmeyer · Jul 12, 2017

I'm a dad. My favorite joke (with apologizes to blondes everywhere):

Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M candy factory?

A: Because she kept throwing out all the W's.

dictator · Jul 29, 2017

A classic Dad joke... got to build it up:

Q: How do you catch a red monster?

A: With a red monster net!

Q: How do you catch a blue monster?

A: With a blue monster net!

Q: How do you catch a green monster? (They should be catching on now...)

A: With a green monster net!

Q: How do you catch a yellow monster?

Kid: With a yellow monster net!

Dad: There's no such thing! You hold their nose until they turn blue, then catch them with a blue monster net!

A joke isn't a good 'Dad joke' unless it's followed by groans aplenty...

litterbug · Aug 6, 2017

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the Shell station.

Wilson Davis · Aug 9, 2018

Question:- What did the seal say when his friend told him a joke?

Answer:- That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!

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