Recent content by hitmark
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Making Babies
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more that a little surprised, asked fearfully, "That's interesting. How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'." -
The power of the press in the modern world
A preacher wanted to raise money for his church, and being told there was a fortune in horse racing, he decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that the preacher settled on a donkey instead. The preacher ... -
A quick question to test mathematic abilities.
Q: When did Bourbaki stop writing books? A: When they realized that Serge Lang was a single person... Teacher: What is 2k + k? Student: 3000! Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? A: Pumpkin Pi! -
Hey, my computer often flashes this error.
An artist, a lawyer, and a computer scientist are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce, bankruptcy. Not worth it. Too many problems. The... -
Lena and Ole (no vulgarity)
Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena Said, "Ole, you can go farther if ya vant to"... so Ole drove to Duluth. -
Quick Engineering Conversions
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said: "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay... -
Favorite animal Funny, well maybe...
What is a dog's favorite job? A Rufferee -
Sounds of the Wild
1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you. 2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp. 3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat. 4. The Zookeeper always wants to take the Rhino for a... -
Are Computers Male or Female?
Problems at your end One of Microsoft's finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target... -
Why Our Health Care Costs Are So High!!!
Health care costs are rising uncontrollably across the world. In America, taxes have been on the rise just to pay for them. In England, they have begun rationing health care services and in some cases they have waiting lists for services just to reduce costs even more. In fact, they now have a... -
I have a keyboard error
While trying to diagnose a problem over the phone I told the user to type out his autoexec.bat file. He said it said "File not found". I told him to do a dir. I asked him if he saw autoexec.bat listed. He said, "Well it says autoexec, then there's some spaces, but no dot, and then it...
