Perfect Marriage

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by wildflower, Oct 6, 2011.

  1. RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

    1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a
        little beverage, good food and companionship.
        She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

    2. We also sleep in separate beds.
       Hers is in
    California and mine is in Texas.

    3. I take my wife everywhere.....
       but she keeps finding her way back.

    4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our   
        anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"   
        she said.
        So I suggested the kitchen.

    5. We always hold hands.
       If I let go, she shops.

    6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric   
       bread maker.
       She said "There are too many gadgets and no place
       to sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.

    7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because
       there was water in the carburetor.
       I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."

    8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
        Then the mud fell off.

    9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late  
       for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"

    10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

    11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
         first name was Always.

    12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
         I don't like to interrupt her.

    13. The last fight was my fault though.
        ! My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
         I said "Dust!"

     
     
  2. hardslicer

    hardslicer Smoking Fanatic

    oh that's good....lol....[​IMG]
     
  3. redneck69

    redneck69 Smoking Fanatic

    LMAO..that is awesome [​IMG]
     
  4. michael ark

    michael ark Master of the Pit

    [​IMG]
     
  5. [​IMG] Very Henny Youngman.
     
  6. jirodriguez

    jirodriguez Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Ah yes.... another great belly buster courtesy of Wildflower! Keep em coming! LOL
     
  7. grandpa jim

    grandpa jim Fire Starter

    LOL, think he marred my ex!!
     

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