DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish..................................49.
Adventurous........................Slept with everyone.
Athletic................................No breasts.
Average looking..................Moooo.
Beautiful..............................Pathologica l liar.
Emotionally Secure..............On medication.
Feminist...............................Fat.
Free Spirit.............................Junkie.
Friendship first....................Former Slut.
New-Age..............................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned.....................No B.J.'s
Open-minded.....................Desperate.
Outgoing..............................Loud and embarrassing.
Voluptuous...........................Very fat.
Large frame...........................Hugely fat.
Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
Yes.....................................No
No......................................Yes
Maybe.................................No
We need............................... I want
I am sorry.............................You'll be sorry
We need to talk......................You're in trouble
Sure, go ahead........................You better not
Do what you want...................You will pay for this later
I am not upset........................Of course, I am upset, you moron!
You're very attentive tonight............Is sex all you ever think about?
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
I am hungry...........................I am hungry
I am sleepy............................I am sleepy
I am tired..............................I am tired
Nice dress..............................Nice cleavage!
I love you..............................Let's have sex now
I am bored.............................Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance?.................I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime?..............I'd like to have sex with you.
Do you want to go to a movie?......I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner?........I'd like to have sex with you.
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit..............I'm gay.
40-ish..................................49.
Adventurous........................Slept with everyone.
Athletic................................No breasts.
Average looking..................Moooo.
Beautiful..............................Pathologica l liar.
Emotionally Secure..............On medication.
Feminist...............................Fat.
Free Spirit.............................Junkie.
Friendship first....................Former Slut.
New-Age..............................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned.....................No B.J.'s
Open-minded.....................Desperate.
Outgoing..............................Loud and embarrassing.
Voluptuous...........................Very fat.
Large frame...........................Hugely fat.
Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
Yes.....................................No
No......................................Yes
Maybe.................................No
We need............................... I want
I am sorry.............................You'll be sorry
We need to talk......................You're in trouble
Sure, go ahead........................You better not
Do what you want...................You will pay for this later
I am not upset........................Of course, I am upset, you moron!
You're very attentive tonight............Is sex all you ever think about?
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
I am hungry...........................I am hungry
I am sleepy............................I am sleepy
I am tired..............................I am tired
Nice dress..............................Nice cleavage!
I love you..............................Let's have sex now
I am bored.............................Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance?.................I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime?..............I'd like to have sex with you.
Do you want to go to a movie?......I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner?........I'd like to have sex with you.
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit..............I'm gay.