USMC Rules For Gun fighting vs Navy Rules

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by dutch, Sep 14, 2007.

  1. dutch

    dutch Smoking Guru Staff Member Administrator Group Lead OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    USMC Rules For Gun fighting

    1. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your friends who have guns.

    2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.

    3. Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.

    4. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough nor using cover correctly.

    5. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movement are preferred.)

    6. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun and a friend with a long gun.

    7. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.

    8. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running.

    9. Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will be more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the gun.

    9.5. Use a gun that works EVERY TIME. "All skill is in vain when an Angel pisses in the flintlock of your musket."

    10. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

    11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

    12. Have a plan.

    13. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.

    14. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. The visible target should be in FRONT of your gun.

    15. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

    16. Don't drop your guard.

    17. Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees.

    18. Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust. Everyone else, keep your hands where I can see them).

    19. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.

    20. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.

    21. Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

    22. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.

    23. Your number one Option for Personal Security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.

    24. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with a "4."

    Navy Rules to Gun fighting

    1. Adopt an aggressive offshore posture-10 miles out

    2. Send the Marines

    3. Drink Coffee
  2. blackhawk19

    blackhawk19 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    That's the truth [​IMG][​IMG]
  3. squeezy

    squeezy Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Oh my! ... this is going to stir up a bee's nest [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]

    So ... which service is smarter?
  4. smokin for life

    smokin for life Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    Sorry Dutch I have to disagree with you on this. If I remember right, the Navy rule #3 should be changed to "BEER". At least that's the way I remember it. YEA GO NAVY!!!!
  5. richoso1

    richoso1 Smoking Guru OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    [​IMG][​IMG] To what Squeezy said.[​IMG]
  6. Well folks after serving 20 years in the Marines, all i knew about the Navy was their ability to chaufeur us around and as for the guns, those big guns on the ships carried big rounds and took out a country block. Now as far as a rifle or pistol in the hands of a navy person, i can't say anything about those that shot onland. But for those that shot rounds out at sea they always hit their target.............the water.........hehe. All kidding aside, Navy or Marines are servicemen and i'm proud of each and everyone who serves to protect our land.

  7. brennan

    brennan Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    Being in the Marine Taxi Service (Gator Navy), I couldn't agree with you more smokin'...thing is, some idiot in their infinite wisdom decided to not allow sailors to drink regularly while underway. so we have to make due with coffee.

    Great joke BTW

    all I have to add is:

    4. Sail in circles for 3 months or until the marines are done.
  8. walking dude

    walking dude Smoking Guru SMF Premier Member


    if i remember right......the navy seals went in the marines won't get their panties in a bunch, worrying if during the landing, they mite get their feet wet dodging incoming
    without the navy.........marines stuck at padre island........usless as tits on a boar........nuff said

  9. shellbellc

    shellbellc Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Know what this is??? Mt Suribachi today, not quite as the Marines saw it back in WWII...yeah, we were stuck on an island alright...s/f!


  10. brennan

    brennan Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    Need I remind you what the USMC seal says?

    Department of the NAVY: United States Marine Corps
  11. walking dude

    walking dude Smoking Guru SMF Premier Member

    plus didnt them BIG GUNS soften up the landing areas?

    thank you brennan......without the i said before........the marines can't leave their home base......

  12. shellbellc

    shellbellc Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Yeah..the Men's Department...
  13. brennan

    brennan Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    of course it's got nothing to do with brains, does it?[​IMG]
  14. shellbellc

    shellbellc Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Not so anymore, commercial air gets us most places, kind of hard to dock a ship in the middle of the desert. Navy still takes us for the med cruises and other ops, but for mass troop movement, it's TWA or other commercial airlines...first time I was ever on a 747 was flying over to Saudi.
  15. shellbellc

    shellbellc Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Sure it does! That's why we wear brain buckets and Navy wears...ah what are they called..oh yeah upside doggie bowls! [​IMG]
  16. walking dude

    walking dude Smoking Guru SMF Premier Member

    but how did they get the tanks and other heavy equipment there......i know about the C-5A..........but it can carry only so much

    unfournaltely, i have to agree on the twa thing........thats how my boy just got to iraq.........and he's Navy.......SeaBee's

  17. brennan

    brennan Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    WD Where's your boy stationed when he's not overseas? If you don't mind my asking...I actually work in the back corner of a seabee base.
  18. shellbellc

    shellbellc Master of the Pit OTBS Member

  19. walking dude

    walking dude Smoking Guru SMF Premier Member

    he's navy reserve..........outta Camp Dodge, Des Moines

    he was over in iraqie and afghanistan waters while he was active duty
    in fact, the aircraft carrier, the Carl Vincent, was the FIRST carrier group there, after 9/11........i get SO tired of the enterprise getting all the glory

  20. walking dude

    walking dude Smoking Guru SMF Premier Member

    yeah......shellbac.......and the captain was a former marine

    LOVE your signature........tho thats a NAVAL term......smoking lamp is lite......LOLOL


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