'Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house Tiger Woods, he came flying Chased by his spouse. She wielded a 9 iron And wasn't too merry 'cause a bimbo's phone # she found on his blackberry. He had been cheating On poor little Elin, and as each day went by Another whore came out squeallin' He'd been on Holly, on Jamie On Rachel, on Corey, On Joslyn, Kaleeka TMZ had the story. From the top of the world To above the fold Tiger's ever more sordid Tale it was told. With hostesses, waitresses He had lots of sex, And when he wasn't hosin' 'em He sent 'em hot texts. He crashed his Caddie But didn't call On-Star He played "spank me Daddy' With a skanky old porn star He's been naughty With Santa, he hasn't a chance, 'cept a big lump of coal to match the lump in his pants. But despite all his crying And begging and pleadin' His wife went right out And bought a new house in Sweden. And I heard her exclaim As she packed up the escalade 'If you're gonna get laid, Then, I'm gonna get paid!" Now, she's not pouting In fact, she's of good cheer Her Pre-nup made Christmas Come early this year!