Twas the night before Thanksgiving at Tigers

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by scarbelly, Dec 18, 2009.

  1. scarbelly

    scarbelly Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    'Twas the night of Thanksgiving
    and out of the house
    Tiger Woods, he came flying
    Chased by his spouse.

    She wielded a 9 iron
    And wasn't too merry
    'cause a bimbo's phone #
    she found on his blackberry.

    He had been cheating
    On poor little Elin,
    and as each day went by
    Another whore came out squeallin'

    He'd been on Holly, on Jamie
    On Rachel, on Corey,
    On Joslyn, Kaleeka
    TMZ had the story.

    From the top of the world
    To above the fold
    Tiger's ever more sordid
    Tale it was told.

    With hostesses, waitresses
    He had lots of sex,
    And when he wasn't hosin' 'em
    He sent 'em hot texts.

    He crashed his Caddie
    But didn't call On-Star
    He played "spank me Daddy'
    With a skanky old porn star

    He's been naughty
    With Santa, he hasn't a chance,
    'cept a big lump of coal
    to match the lump in his pants.

    But despite all his crying
    And begging and pleadin'
    His wife went right out
    And bought a new house in Sweden.

    And I heard her exclaim
    As she packed up the escalade
    'If you're gonna get laid,
    Then, I'm gonna get paid!"

    Now, she's not pouting
    In fact, she's of good cheer
    Her Pre-nup made Christmas
    Come early this year!
     
  2. jirodriguez

    jirodriguez Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    ROFLMAO!! Nice!
     
  3. alx

    alx Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Love it....What a phony the tiger is....
     
  4. meateater

    meateater Smoking Guru SMF Premier Member

    HAHA! That's great!
     

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