The Purina Diet (PG 13)

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by dutch, Aug 2, 2006.

  1. dutch

    dutch Smoking Guru Staff Member Administrator Group Lead OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Got this from a friend. Thought it was pretty funny:

    Oh yeah, if your drinking anything now, I suggest that you swallow and put your drink down or you'll be cleaning off your computer screen.


    I have a Golden retriever and I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

    A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

    I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

    Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my [email protected]$ls and a car hit me.

    I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
     
  2. cajunsmoker

    cajunsmoker Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    What can I say to that? :mrgreen:
     
  3. joed617

    joed617 Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    Good one Dutch..

    Joe
     
  4. tommy c

    tommy c Meat Mopper OTBS Member

    Damn...I heard this joke last night and I wanted to post it, but wasn't sure it would be o.k? Good joke Dutch!!!!
     
  5. brianj517

    brianj517 Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :!:
     

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