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The Passing of an Old Friend

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by vulcan75001, Jul 10, 2006.

  1. vulcan75001

    vulcan75001 Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    The Passing of an Old Friend, Common Sense

    Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
    has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was
    since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

    He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as
    knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the
    worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense
    lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you
    earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in

    His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing
    regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old
    boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens
    suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher
    fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

    Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
    job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly
    children. It declined even further when schools were required to get
    parental consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a sticky plaster
    to a student; but could not inform the parents when a student became
    pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

    Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
    contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better
    treatment than their victims.
    Common Sense took a beating when you
    couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the
    burglar can sue you for assault.

    Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
    realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
    her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was
    preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,
    Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

    He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else
    is to Blame, and I'm A Victim.

    Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone