Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2009

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by blacklab, Aug 11, 2009.

  1. blacklab

    blacklab Master of the Pit SMF Premier Member

    [FONT='Arial','sans-serif']Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2009



    Number 10

    Life is sexually transmitted.



    Number 9

    Good health is merely the slowest

    possible rate at which one can die.



    Number 8

    Men have two emotions:

    Hungry and Horny. If you see him without

    an erection, make him a sandwich. [​IMG]



    Number 7

    Give a person a fish and you feed them for

    a day, teach a person to use the Internet

    and they won't bother you for weeks.



    Number 6

    Some people are like a Slinky...

    Not really good for anything, but you

    still can't help but smile when you shove

    them down the stairs.



    Number 5

    Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,

    lying in hospitals dying of nothing.



    Number 4

    All of us could take a lesson from the weather.

    It pays no attention to Criticism.



    Number 3

    Why does a slight tax increase cost you

    $200.00 and a substantial tax cut

    saves you $30.00?



    Number 2

    In the 60's, people took acid to make the

    world weird...Now the world is weird and

    people take Prozac to make it normal.



    And The Number 1 Thought For 2009 :

    " Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers

    What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow"
    [/font]
     
  2. the dude abides

    the dude abides Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    All wise comments. Especially #8
     
  3. gnubee

    gnubee Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    As for #9 and #5 all I have to say about that is;

    When You see those health nuts jogging by they are always grim looking with a look of pained acceptance on their faces. At no time do they look like they are having fun. Sure sure, they are going to live 10 years longer than you and I are but Its the ten years when you pee your pants daily and have trouble remembering your own name.
    We Unhealthy people frequent Beer halls and Steak & rib joints, filling up on simply delicious foods. Enjoying a really sinful dessert or two. Look around at the people in a rib joint some day. They have a healthy ruddy glow about them and Its obvious They sure are having fun.

    They are dying of course but they look simply marvelous.
     

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