Only in America

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Master of the Pit
Original poster
OTBS Member
Jun 20, 2007
Troy AL
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your
house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking
places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in *****tores make the sick
walk all the way to the back of the store to get
their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in people order double
cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in banks leave both doors
open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in we leave cars worth
thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our
useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in we use answering machines
to screen calls and then have call waiting so we
won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.

8. Only in we buy hot dogs in
packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in we use the word
'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli'
in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning
'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in they have drive-up ATM's
with Braille lettering.

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and
dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic
called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal

You know that indestructible black box that is used
on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane
out of that stuff??

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all
stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the
opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport
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