I got this in my email and I had to share !
[size=+2]Actual call center conversations![/size]
[size=+2]Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1[/size][size=+2]2[/size][size=+2]00 for two days and can't get[/size][size=+2]through; can you help?'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?'[/size]
[size=+2]Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.'[/size]
[size=+2]On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone[/size][size=+2]box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'[/size]
[size=+2]Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'[/size]
[size=+2]Customer: 'OK.'[/size]
[size=+2]Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'[/size]
[size=+2]Customer: 'No.'[/size]
[size=+2]Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'[/size]
[size=+2]Customer: 'No.'[/size]
[size=+2]Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this[/size]
[size=+2]point?'[/size]
[size=+2]Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'[/size]
[size=+2]true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless tosay the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'[/size]
[size=+2]Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.[/size]
[size=+2](Now I know why they record these conversations!):[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Went away?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'They disappeared'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Nothing.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Nothing??'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'How do I tell?'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'What's a monitor?'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that[/size]
[size=+2]tells you when it's on?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'I don't know.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Yes, it is.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'No.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'I can't reach.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'No.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Dark?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'I can't.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'No? Why not?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it.[/size][size=+2] Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'[/size]
[size=+2]Actual call center conversations![/size]
[size=+2]Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1[/size][size=+2]2[/size][size=+2]00 for two days and can't get[/size][size=+2]through; can you help?'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?'[/size]
[size=+2]Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.'[/size]
[size=+2]On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone[/size][size=+2]box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'[/size]
[size=+2]Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'[/size]
[size=+2]Customer: 'OK.'[/size]
[size=+2]Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'[/size]
[size=+2]Customer: 'No.'[/size]
[size=+2]Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'[/size]
[size=+2]Customer: 'No.'[/size]
[size=+2]Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this[/size]
[size=+2]point?'[/size]
[size=+2]Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'[/size]
[size=+2]true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless tosay the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'[/size]
[size=+2]Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.[/size]
[size=+2](Now I know why they record these conversations!):[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Went away?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'They disappeared'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Nothing.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Nothing??'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'How do I tell?'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'What's a monitor?'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that[/size]
[size=+2]tells you when it's on?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'I don't know.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Yes, it is.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'No.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'I can't reach.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'No.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Dark?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'I can't.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'No? Why not?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it.[/size][size=+2] Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'[/size]
[size=+2]Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'[/size]
[size=+2]Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'[/size]
