My daughter likes her steak rare, bloody

[teeroy]

My daughter is 9. Because she has always grown up with my grilling she likes her steaks rare, bloddy. When we talk about going out to dinner she always says "I want steak, bloody!!!"

When she's 30 and I let her go on her first date I figure this is good for a couple of reaons:

1) She won't be a cheap date and will require a steak house. Not a bad deterrant!!!

2) When she orders her steak and says "I want it rare, bloody" I hope it freaks him out!!!

Just sayin....

 

[jirodriguez]

... now if you can get her to bring the cow to the restraunt, shoot it in the head, and field dress it (all in front of her date!).... I gurantee he will be very, very, respectfull of her.... heh-heh.

... might have to try that with my two daughters... hmmmm..

 

[the dude abides]

...and if it doesn't freak him out. You're either gonna have to do an immediate and thourough background check. Or you've just found a great potential son-in-law. I've got a 10 year old girl. Just scares the crap out of me to think of her dating.

I figure when the first guy comes to pick her up I'll meet him at the door with a Bible under one arm and a shotgun in the other. If he runs...good. If he stays, he might just be alright. But I'll be sure to tell him that "I'm not afraid to go BACK to prison." LOL

I like your style... ol' school dads are not to be messed with.

 

[jirodriguez]

LOL... I like the prison line.... might have to remember that one.

 

[bman62526]

My daughter is only 8 1/2, but I've always wanted to see this line used...

The setting: Her first date

Guy comes into the house to meet us before they leave. I come up and give him a kiss on the cheek. He pulls back, hopefully with a strange look on his face.

I say, "ok - I've kissed you - you may now kiss my daughter...anything you do to my daughter, I'm doing to you."

HA!!!

If any of you are brave and want to use that one, let me know how it turns out.

 

[zopi]

Chainsaw, and backhoe here..I'll just park it out front.

All three of my daughters like their steak mildly frightened...and two of them started on solid food with ahi tuna...<G> Little foodies..

 

[chefrob]

sounds like yer rasin her jest fine!

 

[hoser]

Hmmmmmmm just curious....anybody in the family tree named Vlad?!?

 

[jirodriguez]

right before daughters date shows up use a meat cleaver to hack up a large piece of meat... making sure you get some nice red smears on your meat apron. When you go to open the door have giant blood covered meat cleaver in hand while wearing bloody apron.

If he gets scared and runs... good!

If he actually knows about cutting meat and can discuss smoking of meats... he might be a keeper!

 

[chainsaw]

My grandaughter only wants to eat Mc D-you are very lucky

 

[nate_46]

When my daughter starts to bring home dates, I am going to make them put their name on a 12 gauge shell and place it on the mantel. I hope they get the hint!

 

[teeroy]

LOL, great stuff. I'm going to save this thread and use some of this stuff. I love the prison line too.

My neighbor and I, who's daughter is 10, have been talking about when the time comes and they are dating we will team up. One of will be across the street hidden with a laser scope on the date. The other one will tell the date to turn around and look at his chest. Then remind him that we're everywhere and we're always watching...

 

[mrpinkdon'ttip]

...and going to first homecoming dance in a couple weeks.

You can bet your a$$ I'll have the digital camera sitting next to the cleaned & oiled Marlin Model 336 .30/.30 when they are preparing to leave. I'll tell him I have to shop for batteries that weekend, but hopefully not another box of shells.

 

[mballi3011]

We have 3 daughter and we let one go with not much warning on the dating thing and she came alright except for the kid and a useless sp----m donor. The next one was chained up and is now starting to date she 32. The next one is getting married on saturday and they asked me to please cater it. she had the brains and got her college degree and her soon to be owns his own dump truck and doing well. We as parents need a new line instead of the shovel and a gun thing. the prison thing I don't think will work because most of them have already been there. I know cause they showed up in the shirt they got in jail. So we have to come up with a new one soon I mean we like grand kids but.

 

[rodc]

When I first met an ex-girlfriends parents we had to drive to their shepherd's cottage about 2 miles out of town. Get there Maw's making scones on the woodburner stove, paw's oiling what look like some old rusty gardening equipment that looked like pruning shears with short curved blades.

I decide to make conversation - "they'll take a bit of cleaning, what are they?"

"They're for castrating the bullocks son", replies the old git - while opening and closing them graphicly.

I wouldn't have minded but she was divorced with 2 kids before I appeared on the scene.

PS they were like top left in this - but old and rusty.....

 

[jaxgatorz]

LOLOL funny stuff !!

btw, that's not blood on a rare steak.. Just fyi

 

[markmcrae]

I retired from the prison and raised my daughter around the prison all her life. She is now 22 and all the guys are scared to death of her. She's meaner than I ever was. I pity the guys that she goes out with.

 

[boiseque]

I have a daughter who is 16 and a step daughter who is 10. I have taught my daughter how to take care of herself, she can whip a blade out almost as fast as I can and she is scrappy so I think them boys have something more than me to worry about. She wont bring boys to my house, she lives with her mom, she knows what I would do.

Best line about rare steak is from the movie Cowboy Way with Woody Harrelson and Kiefer Sutherland.

If you havent see it, its a good movie! They are 2 western cowboys looking for a friend in NYC they are staying a some fancy place, cant remember which one. They go to dinner and the waiter asks what the would like, Woody (Chili in the movie) says steak, the waiter asks how they would like it and he says "Just knock its horns off, wipe its a$$ and set it down here on a plate". I love that line.

 

[northern greenhorn]

I don't have any daughters, I have 4 boys, my oldest is 15, and we've had our chat, well he had asked about protection, so I took him and his girlfriend to Wally World, and filled up a cart with diapers, baby formula, clothes, etc, and when we got to the register and the rang it up, the bill was around $ 400.00, and I asked them if they could pay for this, they both said no, and I said neither can I, I already pay for 4 kids, I apologized to the cashier, and we left, I told them until they can raise a child on their own, leave their clothes on. The next day her father called me, and thanked me, she told him what I did, and said she didn't realize how costly a baby is, hopefully she understands it's not just the financial cost, I have a niece who just had a baby in Dec, she is 15, and in no way ready for parenthood. But life is life, and smoke on.

 

[smokey mo]

The funny thing is I have used a line close to this. I say I won't go back to the pen this time cuz' they wont' find the next body. It works even better when your friends with a cop who agrees with your BA status in the Pen.

Good luck with her.