MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
NICKNAMES:
*If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each
other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
*If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to
each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT:
*When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in
$20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
*When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY:
*A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
*A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's
on sale.
BATHROOMS:
*A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel
*The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is
337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS:
*A woman has the last word in any argument.
*Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.
FUTURE:
*A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
*A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS:
*A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
*A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE:
*A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
*A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP:
*A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty
the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
*A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL:
*Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
*Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING:
*Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.
*A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing!
NICKNAMES:
*If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each
other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
*If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to
each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT:
*When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in
$20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
*When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY:
*A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
*A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's
on sale.
BATHROOMS:
*A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel
*The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is
337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS:
*A woman has the last word in any argument.
*Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.
FUTURE:
*A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
*A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS:
*A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
*A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE:
*A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
*A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP:
*A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty
the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
*A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL:
*Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
*Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING:
*Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.
*A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing!
