• Some of the links on this forum allow SMF, at no cost to you, to earn a small commission when you click through and make a purchase. Let me know if you have any questions about this.

Men Are Just Happier !!!

sawhorseray

Smoking Guru
OTBS Member
★ Lifetime Premier ★
6,014
8,561
Joined Oct 17, 2014
MEN ARE JUST HAPPY PEOPLE….

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress - $5,000. Tux rental - $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes — one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!


NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Rich, Dave, and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Goose, Oddball and Bazza.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave, and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When women get their bill, outcome the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

2E95AE70-8745-462A-BDF6-3B2EFBE3C485.jpeg

44C32D5D-8A3A-4928-B2A1-A85EC258F279.jpeg

78ED61B5-BDF5-4977-A207-5B85D93C48B7.jpeg

83FF5DBF-587C-46CD-B743-DAFFA0B848CA.jpeg

89E1A1B2-B92A-4D1B-A206-F35D1E3A0C80.jpeg

269DE348-D2D3-4ABC-8BEA-50C0135E94B3.jpeg

433D9164-3584-4F0D-BD8A-C930B49BA713.jpeg

269591589_10158198336401850_8220223353931941366_n.jpg

272086501_10223343919641241_6793588018129915259_n.jpg

272165031_1811741715683854_504278987615350881_n.jpg

272219388_1732337003777545_6336571233267235271_n.jpg

272277192_5333119480049308_7668565775547394826_n.jpg

272300024_937144963604475_205710449947015595_n.jpg

272603678_4945046625559217_4812323327445726335_n.jpg

272747657_1128764207663746_2230424947330406566_n.jpg

AD06481E-E2A8-4F6A-8460-AA2A85A923A8.jpeg

ADAE8C35-F357-42C5-B800-52B5A4E42345.jpeg

adult.jpg

AF8E335A-AFB0-41A6-8E26-C6CF8DB46EAA.jpeg

afraid.jpg

age.jpeg

airplane3.jpg

alec5.jpg

alec7.jpg

alec8.jpg

apple%20watch.jpg

baby%20bottle.jpg

bacon13.jpg

bacon18.jpg

bacon21.jpg

bad%20day1.png

BCEAED99-19CF-4F1F-8CD7-098D48A56FFB.jpeg

BD0A70A5-C481-434F-9910-F4C9DDD96997.jpeg

believeinyourselfdemotivator_grande.jpeg

blobid0 (1).jpg

blobid0 (2).jpg

blobid0.jpg

blobid1.jpg

blobid2.jpg

blond.jpg

bob%20sled.jpg

Bond-Cat.jpg
alec11.jpg
 
Last edited:

DRKsmoking

Master of the Pit
SMF Premier Member
3,323
2,471
Joined Jan 27, 2021
Why? Do you want his pig or smoker? :emoji_laughing:
Sorry David, I had to!
Great ones Ray!

Ryan
Not to worry David, I'm sure the pig made a sincere Act of Contrition and was in hog heaven by the time the women and children arrived for the cook. RAY


Ha Ha

To me It's kind of like getting the guy to tie the noose in the rope for his own hanging.

That's where I am the hypocrite, It would be ok if the pig was already dead than put on the trailer
and driving down the highway to the big BBQ that I would stand in line for.
lol

David
 

sawhorseray

Smoking Guru
OTBS Member
★ Lifetime Premier ★
Thread starter
6,014
8,561
Joined Oct 17, 2014
Ha Ha To me It's kind of like getting the guy to tie the noose in the rope for his own hanging. That's where I am the hypocrite, It would be ok if the pig was already dead than put on the trailer and driving down the highway to the big BBQ that I would stand in line for. lol David

Don't forget David, the only reason that pig had a life was to make sure he showed up at that BBQ, and on time! RAY
 

DRKsmoking

Master of the Pit
SMF Premier Member
3,323
2,471
Joined Jan 27, 2021
Don't forget David, the only reason that pig had a life was to make sure he showed up at that BBQ, and on time! RAY


You are right Ray, no way he will be late to that shindig, lol

When my son was real young , I bought 2 piglets and raised and fattened them up at my Uncles barn
my boy wanted to name them , so trying to think ahead , of the questions that might come up later .
They became know as Bacon and Eggs instead of something like Pinky and Curly.
So I could tell him to eat his bacon and eggs, It was more of a joke for me than him at the time

David
 

HalfSmoked

Epic Pitmaster
OTBS Member
SMF Premier Member
Group Lead
11,494
3,687
Joined Jun 11, 2015
Hahaha Ray
Can you imagen the animal activist if you were driving down the road with a dead pig laying on your trailer.

Warren
 

HalfSmoked

Epic Pitmaster
OTBS Member
SMF Premier Member
Group Lead
11,494
3,687
Joined Jun 11, 2015
Thanks, Ray for the like I appreciate it.

Warren
 

Latest posts

Hot Threads

Top Bottom
  AdBlock Detected

We noticed that you're using an ad-blocker, which could block some critical website features. For the best possible site experience please take a moment to disable your AdBlocker.