Just For Fun While We Wait

[pigcicles]

I'm sitting here tired and thinking about goofy stuff then I drifted off to some of the mistakes that I've made while smoking / grilling and had a chuckle.

So I says to my tired self... I wonder what everyone else has done (that they will admit to) to screw up a dish or an entire meal. So while we're standing around with our hands in our pockets waiting on the See the World ... Smell the Smoke contest to end, how about we toss out a few of our mistakes that might amuse the rest of us.

I kind of figure if the newbies see what everyone else has done to screw up the food world they won't feel like they're doing so bad. So here's my start....

A while back I smoked a nice packer brisket, corn on the cob, taters, and was doing some of Dutch's Wicked Baked Beans ( Dutch's wicked baked bean recipe ) and much like today I was livin on no sleep for many hours (I have one really screwed up schedule).

Everything was done but the beans got put in late (last minute idea). So once they were in I thought I'd grab a shower and a quick nap. I asked the bride to wake me up in about an hour and trundled off to bed.

Well she thought I needed the sleep so she didn't wake me up! When I woke up and looked at the clock the first thing I thought of was The Beans!

I got up and ran outside and those puppies were Wicked crispy. Since they were in the GOSM gasser alone, it kind of got a little hot and they didn't get any attention so they crisped right up.

Yeppers.. those critters were DONE! I tossed them in the trash - pan and all.

I know there's plenty of other - better stories so let's hear 'em.

 

[bigarm's smokin]

Hey Joe, if thats the worst you do, ya got it made.

My favorite thing to do is, when taking the food from the smoker to the kitchen, have the dog trip me, she sure don't mind cleaning everything up though.

Terry

 

[fatback joe]

Man, you got me thinking and laughing about some of the stuff that has happened.........then I start typing and then erase, over and over as I go through the list. Almost need it in catagories,

• times I have ruined food with fire
• times I have ruined food with fire going out
• times I have burnt myself
• times I have hurt myself dropping frozen food
• times I have tried to destroy my smoker
• times I have successfly ruined equipment
• stuff I have done just because I didn't know any better
• on and on and on.

Seems as though lately I mostly just need to make sure I wear shoes all the time. Earlier in the year I broke my toe with a 13lb frozen cryovac pack of ribs........as recently as Monday, I had an ember go between my toes, but had my hands full so I could not address it right away. Hopping around with my hands full trying to get to the top step of the pool for a little relief.

The more I think about it, I just might be somekind of wreckless idiot

. LMAO Thanks for starting this thread and making me think.

 

[richtee]

I was chopping up some wood for a backyard fire- pine, scrub, God knows what else... and doing some ribs. Was getting ready to add some hickory to the smoker when I gotta phone call from a bud wanting directions to my place, and you guessed it...loaded the ECB with pine and .. well...God knows what. YUCK!

 

[navionjim]

I'll bet we have all done dumb things in the kitchen or we wouldn't have progressed to this exalted level of cooking. My worst screw up wasn't around the smoker, but the fryer. I use a large iron wok for deep frying and early one Sunday morning I decided to award the princess with some fresh beignets, which are a treat down here in Coonass country.

French donuts, really just fried bread dough with powdered sugar. Long story shot, I dropped a nice diamond shaped slice of freshly risen dough in the hot oil only to have it wash over the side and splash all over my then ample belly. This being early in the morning I'd neglected to get dressed which was a real lesson in kitchen etiquette. I wore those red marks for more than a year and awakened my sleeping princess with screams of pain rather than a nice breakfast. But I learned one thing, Never ever deep fry while naked!

Ok that’s probably more information than I should have offered.

 

[hawgheaven]

Lessee... with the smoker, right after I got it, I decided to do some BB ribs. I thought I knew what I was doing, got the chamber temp up to between 225 and 250... or so I thought. I didn't realize back then that the stock heat guage on my CG was an inaccurate POS; my temps were WAY above what they should have been.

Long story short, I burnt the crap out of the ribs, and had no backup plan for dinner...

My wife was not happy and for the longest time after that, would not let me volunteer to do the ribs. But, things are different now...

 

[hawgheaven]

I guess it's a good thing you had the belly to protect the boys...

On a similar note, I was smoking one weekend, running around in my swimming shorts, no shoes. I lit a chimney of lump, didn't notice the hot coal that dropped out, then promptly stepped on it... I don't go barefoot around hot coals anymore!

 

[doc]

Yeah Terry, I think I have damn near stubbed my toe on the dog doing the same thing. However my cat-like reflexes saved the grub from certain doom and the dog knows I'm on to her!

 

[gypsyseagod]

i've done the frying thing barechested on the boat,our old shrimpboat didn't have a/c and you would die of heatstroke in the galley.
also had the bottom of a grill fall through when barefoot cooking. good thing we were anchored cause i went straight over the side.

 

[ajthepoolman]

16 years ago, back in the college days, my future wife decided to surprise me with a birthday cake shaped like the Kansas City Chiefs arrowhead logo. She slaved over this thing while I slept. I was working overnights at a gas station, so I was asleep all day.

She finished it up all pretty, with the colors and the logo and the shape of it perfect. She then put some plastic wrap over it and stuck it in the oven, so I wouldn't find it.

Later that night, I got up and she decided to cook me my favorite dinner, fishsticks with macaroni/cheese and canned peas! I still love that dinner!

Anyway, she kicks the oven on to 475 degrees, and forgot her cake was in there. After just a couple of minutes the plastic wrap had formed a clear crust that almost made the cake look "waxed"! Of course, it was totally ruined and stunk of plastic wrap.

She cried for about 2 hours that night. I comforted her on it and told her that it was the thought that counts. But I still tease her about it to this day!

 

[squeezy]

I must count myself lucky for this one ....
I was doing a solo weekend at the lake, and decided on a store-bought frozen pizza to go on the ECB (modified to LP) ... which upon arriving was thawed. Now I know you are supposed to cook these things from frozen, so I figured using a lower temp. (350º) on the smoker for a slightly longer time would yield the desired results ..... not!
Bottom was as black as coal miner's boot sole and just as hard!
Got to rethink pizza on the smoker!!!!
The upside ... and there is one! The toppings were absolutely deliicous ... excellent smoky taste! ... so, I scraped off the topping for my dinner that night washed it down with beer. OK I had a beer buzz at the time ... so what?
Don't ya love a story with a happy ending?

 

[bbq bubba]

The happy ending being the beer buzz??

 

[squeezy]

.... and your point would be?

Seriously though ... the toppings were awesome! Just got to figure out the rest ... and I will d**n it!

 

[fatback joe]

Throw it on a pizza stone...........still get the smoke, but protection from the direct heat.

 

[squeezy]

I use a pizza pan, with the holes no less ... can't say as I have ever seen a pizza stone ....

 

[fatback joe]

http://www.foodservicedirect.com/ind...FQQjPAodeWMTaw Here is a link with a pic

This one has a better explanation than I can do. http://entertaining.about.com/cs/kit...pizzastone.htm

I have several that get used damn near daily.........but not usually in the smoker, in the smoker I usally use a pizza pan (without holes), just because I prefer a deep dish kind of pizza and usually build it all in the pan...............have done homehade calzones and stuff on the stone in the in the smoker though.

Hope it helps...........smoked pizza is great!!!

 

[smokyokie]

Me? I just seem to always overcook everything.

Great thread Joe!

On the other hand, I think I do remember my first giant overcook, but it wasn't on the smoker.

I had never cooked oven roast duck and wanted to try it. I had an old '50s vintage Good Housekeeping cookbook that I referred to for instructions. It had you start off @ about 450* for 30 minutes then reduce to about 300* for 2 or 3 hours. The problem that I had was that I neglected to read the part about reducing the heat.

What I ended up with was a beautiful golden brown bird worth taking pictures of, but when I put the knife to it, there was nothing but air and bones inside the skin. kinda like the turkey in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation movie. Makes me wish I'd taken some pix.

 

[cascadedad]

OK, I gots a guud won!

This just happened this past Friday. We were headed out camping for the long weekend. I had to finish getting the boat ready and that is about all I had on my mind. My wife told me she had just put some eggs on to boil, she was heading to the store and that I needed to take them off in a few minutes. I said "OK" and then, precisely 3.78 milliseconds later I forgot about the eggs and started work on the boat.

Next thing I remember is her returning home and my youngest son (9 y.o.) coming outside at about the same time. He said something to his mom and then she proceeded to SPRINT into the house. I still have no clue. I follow inside, only to be greeted by the upstairs smoke alarm sounding off and then the smoke hit me. The water in the pot was ALL gone and there were remnants of egg on the underside of the microwave, side of the refrigerator and the ceiling!!!! Ahh chit!

By this time, the downstairs smoke alarm is going off, so I head down there, only to find my oldest son (15 YEARS OLD) still chatting with his buddies on the COMPUTER!!!!!

I said, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING???? DIDN'T YOU HEAR THE SMOKE ALARM???" He says calmly, "Yes, but I thought Mom was upstairs."

OK, he was busted and grounded from the computer for 2 weeks. If that wasn't funny enough, keep reading.

The smoke detector in the camp trailer is very sensative and goes off almost everytime you cook something. So, Saturday, we were toasting some buns in the oven and the smoke detector goes off. Without even a MOMENT of hesitation, my oldest son (the grounded one) jumps up waving his arms yelling "FIRE, FIRE, FIRE!!!!!!!"

Well, after we all stopped laughing, I told him I guess he learned his lesson and he wasn't grounded anymore. It's nice being the rule maker.

 

[squeezy]

Good one! ... thanks for sharing!

 

[navionjim]

Not to worry, I refuse to pay the price they want for those. I use four one foot square Tera Cotta tiles from my local tile store, total cost was a buck! The fit in the oven as well as the smoker.