It was so cold . . . we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues! It was so cold... hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs! It was so cold . . . pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers' pockets just to keep them warm! It was so cold . . . words froze in the air. If you wanted to hear what someone said, you had to grab a handful of sentences and take them in by the fire! It was so cold . . . the politicians had their hands in their OWN pockets! It was so cold . . . Richard Simmons started wearing pants! It was so cold . . . people stopped complaining about the radioactive steam coming out of manholes!