HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS): I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. To write with a broken pencil is pointless. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal. Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground. The dead batteries were given out free of charge. If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail. A will is a dead giveaway. A backward poet writes inverse. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye. Acupuncture: a jab well done.