Humor for Lexophiles (it just sounds dirty)

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ultramag

Master of the Pit
Original poster
Apr 17, 2006
2,112
14
Garden City, MO
HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting
a rest.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened
criminal.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky
ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

A backward poet writes inverse.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.
 
In addition, one might ponder:

Why do you drive on a parkway, and park on a driveway?

Why do they call them apartments when they're so close together?

and while not a play on words, Why does custom have it that the Easter Bunny leaves little chocolate eggs everywhere it goes?

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Tim
 
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