A man is sitting reading his newspaper when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan. "What was that for?" He asks "That was for the piece of paper in your trouser pocket with the name of Mary Ellen written on it" she replies. "Don't be silly " he says "Two weeks ago when I went to the races Mary Ellen was the name of one of the horses I bet on". She seems satisfied at this and apologizes. Three days later he's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails him with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out cold. When he comes around he asks "What was that for?" His wife said, "Your f**kin' horse phoned"