Explaining Hell PG17

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by beer-b-q, Nov 14, 2009.

  1. beer-b-q

    beer-b-q Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    The following is an actual question given on University of Arizona chemistry mid term.

    The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

    One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. There fore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

    Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities:
    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is e xothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting

    'Oh my God.'

  2. rivet

    rivet Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    OH MY GOD that is excellent!!! I love it! Great post!
  3. smokin' dick

    smokin' dick Smoking Fanatic

    That was great. That kid is going to go far in his life, I'm sure!
  4. mr mac

    mr mac Smoking Fanatic SMF Premier Member

    While the entire argument seems plausible and the author to be very astute on the surface, one must take in to consideration that hell cannot have frozen over since the Chicago Cubs still have yet to win a World Series since 1908. [​IMG]
  5. gnubee

    gnubee Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    LMAO , now that is funny. I'd get that persons name and put down a bet that he will be famous some day.
  6. alx

    alx Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    That is sweet....[​IMG][​IMG]:pD T_Armataz_01_34:[​IMG][​IMG]
  7. oneshot

    oneshot Master of the Pit SMF Premier Member

    Now that has definately cracked me up!!!!! ROTFLMAO [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]
  8. cajunsmoke13

    cajunsmoke13 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    That was good. thanks
  9. evo 9 guy

    evo 9 guy Smoke Blower

    Oh wow, greatest joke I heard in a while. Thanks for the laugh.
  10. shooter1

    shooter1 Smoking Fanatic

    That is math that I can understand. Good One![​IMG]
  11. dutch

    dutch Smoking Guru Staff Member Administrator Group Lead OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    That there Mr. Mac is a different kind of hell!

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