That's right, ladies and gentlemen. I'm from Kansas City, otherwise known as Cow Town. While some may say this is paying homage to the fine ladies you see walking the streets of Independence Avenue, truth be told, back in the 1800s this is where many a cow laid down its life in the name of delicious steak, ribs, and brisket. This is the Kansas City stockyards, circa 1904. For 80 years, from 1871 until 1951, cattle from all across these great plains were rounded up, stuffed into cattle cars, and via locomotive shipped right into the West Bottoms of our fair town. We saw so many cattle, the American Hereford Association decided to hold an annual judging competition in a tent in these very stock yards. That tradition continues today, and is otherwise known as the American Royal. Since 1979, the American Royal BBQ has been one of the premier BBQ competitions. If you're from Kansas City, you know BBQ. In fact, BBQ tradition and culture is so ingrained into your being, like me, you've probably been turned away at the Blood Bank. My first thought--hell, everyone's first thought is, "Is it because of the hepatitis?" The man in the white uniform said, "No, sir. It's just that we need blood. Type O Positive would have been great, but sir... I'm afraid that you have Liquid Smoke coursing through your veins."