Darwin Awards...(G)

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by richoso1, Aug 24, 2007.

  1. richoso1

    richoso1 Smoking Guru OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    spell> And once again, it's time for the Darwin Award Nominees. The Darwins
    > are awarded every year to the persons who died in the most stupid
    > manner, thereby removing themselves from the gene pool.
    >
    >
    > This years nominees are:
    >
    > Nominee No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]:
    >
    > An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former
    > girlfriends windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the
    > gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
    >
    >
    > Nominee No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]:
    >
    > James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, MI, was killed in March as he
    > was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck."
    > Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung
    > underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise.
    > Burns clothes caught on something, however, and the other
    > man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft".
    >
    >
    > Nominee No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]:
    >
    > Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December
    > in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside
    > his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson
    > 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
    >
    > Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto]:
    >
    > Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown
    > Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and
    > plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39,
    > fell into the courtyard of the TorontoDominionBankTower early
    > Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the buildings
    > windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted
    > demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter
    > Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the
    > Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest"
    > members of the 200-man association.
    >
    > Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]:
    >
    > Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had
    > spent several years awaiting South Carolinas electric chair on a
    > murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in
    > prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix
    > his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
    >
    >
    > Nominee No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]:
    >
    > A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk,
    > IN. A JayCounty man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of
    > a muzzle loader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in
    > his face, sheriffs investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died
    > in his parents rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators
    > said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been
    > firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when
    > the gunpowder ignited.
    >
    >
    > Nominee No. 7: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]:
    >
    > A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium
    > apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his
    > death. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the
    > accident occurred, said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional
    > Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the
    > balcony," Honer said.
     
  2. mikeintn

    mikeintn Fire Starter

    Ahhhh, natural selection at work....[​IMG]
     
  3. meowey

    meowey Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    LOL! There are good ones each year.

    Take care, have fun, and do good!

    Regards,

    Meowey
     
  4. triple b

    triple b Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    Will they ever learn?
    I guess not....huh?
    [​IMG]
     
  5. If the "brightest" of a 200 member team runs through a plat glass window, what does the dumbest do?
     
  6. dutch

    dutch Smoking Guru Staff Member Administrator Group Lead OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Uhmmm- Follow him through??[​IMG][​IMG]
     

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