Cowboy Wisdom

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by ultramag, Jun 14, 2007.

  1. ultramag

    ultramag SMF Events Planning Committee

    Every trail has some puddles.

    There's no place 'round the campfire for a
    quitter's blanket.

    Tossin' your rope before buildin' a loop don't
    ketch the calf.

    Polishing your pants on saddle leather don't make
    you a rider.

    A closed mouth gathers no boots.

    Don't name a cow you plan to eat.

    Be thankful we're not getting all the government
    we're paying for.

    Never miss a good chance to shut up.

    Life is not about how fast you run, or how high
    you climb, but how well
    you bounce.

    Keep skunks, lawyers, and bankers at a distance.

    Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

    Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

    Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.

    Don't corner something meaner than you.

    It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

    When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

    Most of the stuff people worry about never
    happens.

    Don't squat with your spurs on.

    Remember that silence is sometimes the best
    answer.

    Don't interfere with something that ain't
    botherin' you none.

    Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain
    dance.

    It's better to be a has-been than a never-was.

    A wink's as good as a nod to a blind mule.

    If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to
    do is stop diggin'.

    Only a fool argues with a skunk, a mule, or a
    cook.

    It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock
    of sheep.

    Any hoss's tail kin ketch cockleburs.

    Wide open spaces don't breed no chatterboxes.

    You can never tell which way the pickle's goin' to
    squirt.

    If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some
    influence, try orderin'
    somebody else's dog around.

    Always drink upstream from the herd.

    Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew;
    your mouth is probably
    a whole lot bigger'n you think.

    Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta
    that comes from bad
    judgment.

    If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look
    back every now and then,
    to make sure it's still there with ya.

    Virtue is its own punishment.

    A man afoot is no man at all.

    A good fence should be pig tight, horse high, and
    bull strong.

    Never hire the people you drink with.

    There never was a horse that couldn't be rode,
    there never was a rider
    that couldn't be throwed.

    When in doubt, let your horse figure it out.

    Only a buzzard feeds on his friends.

    Speak your mind, but ride a fast horse.

    Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from
    the rear or a fool
    from any direction.

    The wilder the colt, the better the hoss.

    Its a big mistake to drive Black cattle in the
    dark.

    A smart ass just doesn't fit in the saddle...

    A faint heart never filled a flush.

    Never mention "rope" in the home of a hanged man.

    Success is the size of the hole a man leaves when
    he dies.

    A cow outfit's never better than its hosses.

    No one but cattle know why they stampede and they
    ain't talking.

    You'll never break a horse if you stay sittin' on
    the fence.

    Never drink unless you're alone or with somebody.

    You can judge a man by the hoss he rides.

    A full house divided don't win no pots.

    When a cowboy's too old to set a bad example, he
    hands out good advice.

    A bronc rider should be light in the head and
    heavy in the seat.

    Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot
    easier than putting it
    back in.
     
  2. cheech

    cheech Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Dad always taught me that you can lead a horse to water but you can not make him drink.....unless you salt his oats
     

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