AIRSPEED - Speed of an airplane. (Deduct 25% when listening to a retired fighter pilot.) BANK - The folks who hold the lien on most pilots' cars. CARBURETOR ICING - A phenomenon reported to the FAA by pilots immediately after they run out of gas. CONE OF CONFUSION - An area about the size of New Jersey located near the final approach beacon at an airport. CRAB - A VFR Instructor's attitude on an IFR day. DEAD RECKONING - You reckon correctly, or you are. DESTINATION - Geographical location 30 minutes beyond the pilot's bladder saturation point. ENGINE FAILURE - A condition that occurs when all fuel tanks mysteriously become filled with low-octane air. FIREWALL - Section of the aircraft specifically designed to funnel heat and smoke into the cockpit. FLIGHT FOLLOWING - Formation flying. GLIDE DISTANCE - Half the distance from an airplane to the nearest emergency landing field. HOBBS - An instrument which creates an emergency situation should it fail during dual instruction. HYDROPLANE - An airplane designed to land long on a short and wet runway. IFR - A method of flying by needle and horoscope. LEAN MIXTURE - Nonalcoholic beer. MINI MAG LITE - Device designed to support the AA battery industry. NANOSECOND - Time delay between the Low Fuel Warning light and the onset of carburetor icing. PARACHUTES - The two chutes in a Stearman PARASITIC DRAG - A pilot who bums a ride and complains about the service. RANGE - Usually about 3 miles short of the destination. RICH MIXTURE - What you order at another pilot's promotion party. ROGER - Used when you're not sure what else to say. SECTIONAL CHART - Any chart that ends 25 NM short of your destination. SERVICE CEILING - Altitude at which cabin crew can serve drinks. SPOILERS - FAA Inspectors. STALL - Technique used to explain to the bank why your car payment is late. STEEP BANKS - Banks that charge pilots more than 10% interest. TURN & BANK INDICATOR - An instrument largely ignored by pilots. USEFUL LOAD - Volumetric capacity of the aircraft, disregarding weight. VOR - Radio navigation aid, named after the VORtex effect on pilots trying to home in on it. WAC CHART - Directions to the Army female barracks. YANKEE - Any pilot who has to ask New Orleans tower to "Say again."