Aviation Dictionary for CrewDawg

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by blackhawk19, Sep 19, 2007.

  1. blackhawk19

    blackhawk19 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    AIRSPEED - Speed of an airplane. (Deduct 25% when listening to a retired fighter pilot.)

    BANK - The folks who hold the lien on most pilots' cars.

    CARBURETOR ICING - A phenomenon reported to the FAA by pilots immediately after they run out of gas.

    CONE OF CONFUSION - An area about the size of New Jersey located near the final approach beacon at an airport.

    CRAB - A VFR Instructor's attitude on an IFR day.

    DEAD RECKONING - You reckon correctly, or you are.

    DESTINATION - Geographical location 30 minutes beyond the pilot's bladder saturation point.

    ENGINE FAILURE - A condition that occurs when all fuel tanks mysteriously become filled with low-octane air.

    FIREWALL - Section of the aircraft specifically designed to funnel heat and smoke into the cockpit.

    FLIGHT FOLLOWING - Formation flying.

    GLIDE DISTANCE - Half the distance from an airplane to the nearest emergency landing field.

    HOBBS - An instrument which creates an emergency situation should it fail during dual instruction.

    HYDROPLANE - An airplane designed to land long on a short and wet runway.

    IFR - A method of flying by needle and horoscope.

    LEAN MIXTURE - Nonalcoholic beer.

    MINI MAG LITE - Device designed to support the AA battery industry.

    NANOSECOND - Time delay between the Low Fuel Warning light and the onset of carburetor icing.

    PARACHUTES - The two chutes in a Stearman

    PARASITIC DRAG - A pilot who bums a ride and complains about the service.

    RANGE - Usually about 3 miles short of the destination.

    RICH MIXTURE - What you order at another pilot's promotion party.

    ROGER - Used when you're not sure what else to say.

    SECTIONAL CHART - Any chart that ends 25 NM short of your destination.

    SERVICE CEILING - Altitude at which cabin crew can serve drinks.

    SPOILERS - FAA Inspectors.

    STALL - Technique used to explain to the bank why your car payment is late.

    STEEP BANKS - Banks that charge pilots more than 10% interest.

    TURN & BANK INDICATOR - An instrument largely ignored by pilots.

    USEFUL LOAD - Volumetric capacity of the aircraft, disregarding weight.

    VOR - Radio navigation aid, named after the VORtex effect on pilots trying to home in on it.

    WAC CHART - Directions to the Army female barracks.

    YANKEE - Any pilot who has to ask New Orleans tower to "Say again."
  2. walking dude

    walking dude Smoking Guru SMF Premier Member

    walking dude........cleans his computer screen ONCE AGAIN, because he spewed his sip of beer all over it.........

    Good one blackhawk

  3. monty

    monty Master of the Pit Staff Member Moderator OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Famous Last Words, "But...I thought YOU were the instructor!"

    STOL.......Folks, do NOT try this feature at a major airport!

    Three Point Landing..Bounced twice enroute to rollout. LG a little distressed

    Flight Plan...Document of hope
  4. crewdawg52

    crewdawg52 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    A passenger asked me where will we go if we loose an engine. My reply......
    "To the crash site!"
  5. blackhawk19

    blackhawk19 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    That's funny but I don't think that was the answer they wanted to hear[​IMG]

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