A Man Walks Into A Restaurant

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by fireguy, Feb 22, 2008.

  1. fireguy

    fireguy Smoking Fanatic

    A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

    The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'

    'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

    A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

    The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'

    The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'

    Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

    This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

    'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.

    'Same,' says the ostrich.

    Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

    Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

    The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

    'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

    'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

    'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man.

    The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

    The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'
  2. Just my Luck!!
  3. richtee

    richtee Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    Guy walks into a bar, opens his coat and sets a foot tall guy and a little piano on the bar from his jacket pocket. The li'l dude starts wailing on the pianni...

    Bartender serves him a cocktail and asks what's the deal here...

    Guy opens up his coat and takes out a brass lamp.. and says..."Welll I found this lamp....and rubbed it...and.."

    The bartender grabs the lamp and goes to the corner with it. The guy at the bar screams "WAIT!!!" but the bartender rubs it and murmers "I want a million bucks!"

    Next thing ya know the bar is FILLED with waterfowl. Geese, canvasbacks, wood ducks...etc.

    The bartender runs back to the guy and says "What the hell.... I wished for a million bucks"

    The guy at the bar says "Do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?
  4. kookie

    kookie Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Those are both funny guys......good ones........
  5. travcoman45

    travcoman45 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Those are good! You sometimes have to be carefull what your wish for!
  6. badss

    badss Meat Mopper

    10-4 good one guys!
  7. bigronhuntalot

    bigronhuntalot Fire Starter


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