Hello All,
My name is Dan and I have a tale of woe. I know that my tale will not surprise most of you. Coming here and reading up on your experiences... well I feel like I have found a good place where I can share.
I grew up in a big family of 8. Burned weenies and burgers were the height of my summers. We were ignorant. It was a simple life. Wood was our fuel and we sneared at charcoal and lighter fluid. We had 25 acres, plenty of hands and a license to burn. We were the disfunctional scout troop from haydes - heathens.
It was the 70's and we flamed everything at least once. Ribs and chicken were an enigma - they became fodder for the oven. We could not contend with the burned, tough and half raw results (I know, I know...don't pitty me, please). What else can you make over a flame? Boiling down maple sap into syrup was not much better. Maintaining a boiling pot all day long provided a mear pittance of syrup. Those were the dark days, but as they say, ignorance was bliss.
Years later I'm in the Army. No wood pile - no small bonfires - danged rules and regulations. In desperation I bought a Weber Smokey Joe, abided in charcoal with lighter fluid and consigned myself to suburban means of charring my dinner. I felt cheapened. I was becoming a griller.
I was far from home and far from my roots. I started to secretly eye gas grills with envy. Only my rancorous lifestyle kept me from having the cash to buy one. Instead I moved up to the 18 inch kettle.
The world turns - a wife and 2 sons become my grilling test subjects. I ended up a divorcee raising 2 wirey boys, but I'm not blaming Weber. I'm not bitter.
Years go by. I have a wife again. Boys 1 & 2 are grown, wirey and rancorous. I acquire another son, now 6, so I can try again. Time to consider a new Weber.
While reading up, I learn of indirect grilling on the Weber. The idea seems foreign. It can't get my head around it because I KNOW that barbecuing means meat charred by fire. I vaguely remember the ex-wife tossing out some never-used charcoal rails and a drip pan that were cluttering up the place. 20 years ago they came with my 18" weber grill. OMG, what have I done. I order new rails.
I read something about cooking by temperature too. Meat thermometers? Who uses them? The test kitchens of Betty Crocker, the USDA and my mother when she does turkey. Not me. I cook on site and guesswork. Do the best chefs ever measure? No, they eyeball it. Am I not one of the best?
I think of my wirey rancorous sons and ask God for forgiveness for what I have wrought upon the world.
Chicken parts come out deliciously roasted the first time I try the indirect method. I must have more. The following weekend I set up the Weber 18 for indirect and throw on a rack of ribs. At this point I need to make a store run, but wife#2 is leary about being left with the hot grill 'cause she don't grill. I assure her to just leave it alone and it will be fine - the indirect method is just like using an oven.
When I returned it was clear that I needed slightly more grilling space than the Weber 18 had. Is there any useful craft one can make from a dozen bones held together by solid char? Martha Stewart?
Many years ago I had seen a story in Popular Mechanics on how to build your own off-set smoker. Only now did I understand. How many years had I ignored the messages that the greater powers had been sending me? All the tears and the years wasted.
The PX was selling the Char-broil American Gourmet. I buy it. I use it. And I discover that "everything in moderation" includes smoke. Who'd a thought that the chunks of mystery wood providing hours of glorious white smoke to a well sauced slab of baby backs was not the right thing to do.
No, friends, I am not deterred. Thankfully, I have since created some delicious ribs thanks to a little more knowledge. Wife #2 is still with me and son #3 seems to be putting on normal weight.
The American Gourmet needs some mods and I have never welded before. Please pray for me and my family as I begin my next set of adventures.
Respectfully,
Dan of the Highlands
My name is Dan and I have a tale of woe. I know that my tale will not surprise most of you. Coming here and reading up on your experiences... well I feel like I have found a good place where I can share.
I grew up in a big family of 8. Burned weenies and burgers were the height of my summers. We were ignorant. It was a simple life. Wood was our fuel and we sneared at charcoal and lighter fluid. We had 25 acres, plenty of hands and a license to burn. We were the disfunctional scout troop from haydes - heathens.
It was the 70's and we flamed everything at least once. Ribs and chicken were an enigma - they became fodder for the oven. We could not contend with the burned, tough and half raw results (I know, I know...don't pitty me, please). What else can you make over a flame? Boiling down maple sap into syrup was not much better. Maintaining a boiling pot all day long provided a mear pittance of syrup. Those were the dark days, but as they say, ignorance was bliss.
Years later I'm in the Army. No wood pile - no small bonfires - danged rules and regulations. In desperation I bought a Weber Smokey Joe, abided in charcoal with lighter fluid and consigned myself to suburban means of charring my dinner. I felt cheapened. I was becoming a griller.
I was far from home and far from my roots. I started to secretly eye gas grills with envy. Only my rancorous lifestyle kept me from having the cash to buy one. Instead I moved up to the 18 inch kettle.
The world turns - a wife and 2 sons become my grilling test subjects. I ended up a divorcee raising 2 wirey boys, but I'm not blaming Weber. I'm not bitter.
Years go by. I have a wife again. Boys 1 & 2 are grown, wirey and rancorous. I acquire another son, now 6, so I can try again. Time to consider a new Weber.
While reading up, I learn of indirect grilling on the Weber. The idea seems foreign. It can't get my head around it because I KNOW that barbecuing means meat charred by fire. I vaguely remember the ex-wife tossing out some never-used charcoal rails and a drip pan that were cluttering up the place. 20 years ago they came with my 18" weber grill. OMG, what have I done. I order new rails.
I read something about cooking by temperature too. Meat thermometers? Who uses them? The test kitchens of Betty Crocker, the USDA and my mother when she does turkey. Not me. I cook on site and guesswork. Do the best chefs ever measure? No, they eyeball it. Am I not one of the best?
I think of my wirey rancorous sons and ask God for forgiveness for what I have wrought upon the world.
Chicken parts come out deliciously roasted the first time I try the indirect method. I must have more. The following weekend I set up the Weber 18 for indirect and throw on a rack of ribs. At this point I need to make a store run, but wife#2 is leary about being left with the hot grill 'cause she don't grill. I assure her to just leave it alone and it will be fine - the indirect method is just like using an oven.
When I returned it was clear that I needed slightly more grilling space than the Weber 18 had. Is there any useful craft one can make from a dozen bones held together by solid char? Martha Stewart?
Many years ago I had seen a story in Popular Mechanics on how to build your own off-set smoker. Only now did I understand. How many years had I ignored the messages that the greater powers had been sending me? All the tears and the years wasted.
The PX was selling the Char-broil American Gourmet. I buy it. I use it. And I discover that "everything in moderation" includes smoke. Who'd a thought that the chunks of mystery wood providing hours of glorious white smoke to a well sauced slab of baby backs was not the right thing to do.
No, friends, I am not deterred. Thankfully, I have since created some delicious ribs thanks to a little more knowledge. Wife #2 is still with me and son #3 seems to be putting on normal weight.
The American Gourmet needs some mods and I have never welded before. Please pray for me and my family as I begin my next set of adventures.
Respectfully,
Dan of the Highlands
