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A Day Early.... Or Not

sawhorseray

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A cab driver picks up a nun, and won’t stop staring at her…
The nun asks why he’s staring, so the cab driver says, “Ever since I went to Catholic school, I’ve fantasized about kissing a nun.” The nun says, “I’ll kiss you, if you’re single and catholic.” The cab driver says, “I’m both.” The nun says, “Pull into an alley.” The nun proceeds to give the cab driver a very long and passionate kiss. Back in the cab, the driver begins crying, “I lied… I’m married, and I’m Jewish.” The nun says, “That’s okay, you’re forgiven. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party.”

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A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied...
"Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"..
..I just lost it......."CASE DISMISSED!!"
Unknown author
 

chopsaw

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Another couple of LOL . Kids think I'm losing it .
 

bauchjw

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Thank you for the laughs! I needed it, also scary how many of them hit home!
 

MJB05615

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Again, all excellent! The Restroom is for Eating Customers, is hilarious. Thanks for these my friend.
 

chef jimmyj

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Good stuff!...JJ
 

HalfSmoked

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Thanks Ray for the like I appreciate it.

Laughs are good when life is hard as it is here right now.

Warren
 

GaryHibbert

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Great ones Ray. Love the eating customers.
Gary
 

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