What Not To Say To Police Officers

[crewdawg52]

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

 

[316sports]

As a Law Enforcement officer, I've heard (and seen) it all, but this one takes the cake for me.

....I pulled over a truck at 2am that was going 31 mph in a 55 mph zone. There was a man, sitting on another man's lap in the drivers seat. I asked them what's going on. They told me that the man "on bottom" was legally blind, but had use of his legs. The man "on top" was a Vet, and lost the use of his legs in Vietnam, but could see "very well" he said. Apparently, the two men live near each other, and they had a hankering for a breakfast taco at 2 in the morning. This was the safest way to get some food they said. I was dumfounded. Luckily, they were near home, and I took them home.