Things to ponder

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by smokincowboy, Apr 15, 2007.

  1. smokincowboy

    smokincowboy Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    1. A day without sunshine is like night.

    2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

    3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

    4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

    5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

    6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

    7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

    8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

    9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

    10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

    11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

    12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

    13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

    14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

    15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

    16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

    17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

    18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

    19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

    20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

    21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the
    Heck happened?"

    22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

    23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear
    Bright until you hear them speak.

    24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. it's more like a jar of
    Jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
     
  2. hillbillysmoker

    hillbillysmoker Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    A neat list of things to ponder............priceless.
    I loved it.
     
  3. joed617

    joed617 Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    Kinday funny but there is a lady fortune teller in the neighborhood on a main street here and she asked me if I would like my fortune read. I told her that if she was really good at it then there would be no need to ask me because she should have known my answer. <yup, this actually happened>

    Joe
     
  4. smokincowboy

    smokincowboy Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    good one Joe ...
     
  5. crewdawg52

    crewdawg52 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    How come fortune tellers are'nt rich from the lottery? [​IMG]
     
  6. tonto1117

    tonto1117 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    I knew you were gonna say that.[​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]
     
  7. peculiarmike

    peculiarmike Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    #21 I think. [​IMG]
     
  8. dionysus

    dionysus Meat Mopper OTBS Member

    One more to add ..... If Walmart is always lowering prices, why isn't everything free [​IMG]
     

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