The Pirate
A pirate walked into a bar, and
the bartender said:
"Hey, I haven't seen you in a
while. What happened? You look
terrible."
"What do you mean?" said the
pirate, "I feel fine."
"What about the wooden leg,
You didn't have that before."
"Well," said the pirate, "We
were in a battle, and I got hit
with a cannon ball, but I'm fine
now."
The bartender replied, "Well,
OK, but what about that hook?
What happened to your hand?"
The pirate explained,
"We were in another battle. I
boarded a ship and got into a sword
fight. My hand was cut off. I
got fitted with a hook but I'm
fine, really."
"What about that eye patch?"
"Oh,"
said the pirate, "One day we
were at sea, and a flock of
birds flew over. I looked up,
and one of them pooped in my
eye."
"You're kidding," said the
bartender. "You couldn't lose an
eye just from bird poop."
"It was my first day with the
hook."