A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town on Saturday night. He returned around 2:30am, and upon entering the ranch-house, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my dress and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my bra." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my panties." He slowly complied, constantly watching her eyes in the firelight. Then she looked at him and said: "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."