Only in America

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by blackhawk19, Aug 22, 2007.

  1. blackhawk19

    blackhawk19 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your
    house faster than an ambulance.

    2. Only in America......are there handicap parking
    places in front of a skating rink.

    3. Only in *****tores make the sick
    walk all the way to the back of the store to get
    their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
    cigarettes at the front.

    4. Only in people order double
    cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

    5. Only in banks leave both doors
    open and then chain the pens to the counters.

    6. Only in we leave cars worth
    thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our
    useless junk in the garage.

    7. Only in we use answering machines
    to screen calls and then have call waiting so we
    won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
    talk to in the first place.

    8. Only in we buy hot dogs in
    packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

    9. Only in we use the word
    'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli'
    in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning
    'bloodsucking creatures'

    10. Only in they have drive-up ATM's
    with Braille lettering.

    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth

    Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins

    Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

    Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and
    dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

    Why is the man who invests all your money called a

    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic
    called rush hour?

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

    When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests

    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal

    You know that indestructible black box that is used
    on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane
    out of that stuff??

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

    Why are they called apartments when they are all
    stuck together?

    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the
    opposite of progress?

    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport
    the terminal?

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