nude jogger

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by panhead, Jul 1, 2007.

  1. panhead

    panhead Smoke Blower

    Nude Runner

    A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror,
    she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.
    'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!'
    'I can't jump out the window. It's raining out there!'
    'If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!' she replied.
    He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!'
    So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window!
    As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.
    Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.

    'Do you always run in the nude?' one asked.
    'Oh yes!' he replied, gasping in air. 'It feels so wonderfully free!'

    Another runner moved a long side. 'Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?'
    Oh , yes' our friend answered breathlessly. 'That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!

    Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked,
    'Do you always wear a condom when you run?'

    'Nope........just when it's raining.
     
  2. panhead

    panhead Smoke Blower

    NEVER LEAVE YOUR NUTS ALONE----------



    A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game.

    For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond
    to his commands. When the day of the game arrived. Everything went quite
    well. As the National Anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up Nuts", and
    the patients complied by standing up. After the anthem, he yelled, "Down
    Nuts", and they all sat back down in their seats. After a home run was
    hit, the doctor yelled, "Cheer Nuts". They all broke out into applause
    and cheered. When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the
    star of the home team, the Doctor yelled, "Booooo Nuts" and they all
    started booing and cat calling.

    Comfortable with their response, the doctor decided to
    go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he
    returned, there was a riot in progress. Finding his tizzied assistant,
    the doctor asked, "What in the world happened?" The assistant replied,
    "Well everything was going just fine until this guy walked by and
    yelled, "PEANUTS!"
     
  3. panhead

    panhead Smoke Blower

    A Hunter and his friend, Charlie and Bob, are returning from a day of hunting when Bob, looking through the scope of his rifle, notices two shadows through in the window of Charlies cabin.

    He turns to his friend and says:

    "Charlie, I got bad news for you, I see your wife thru the scope with another guy"

    Charlie, in utter disgust says, "That's it I've had enough of her infidelity, Shoot my wife in the head and the guy in the groin."

    Bob, being a loyal freind says, "No Problem, I can do that in one shot."
     
  4. panhead

    panhead Smoke Blower

    BIRTHDAY REMEMBRANCE

    This week we celebrate a special birthday. Monica Lewinsky turned 31.
    Can you believe it? It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around
    the White House on her hands and knees, and putting everything in her
    mouth.

    They grow up so fast, don't they?
     

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