Man and his Monkey PG-13

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by lawdog, Mar 4, 2008.

  1. lawdog

    lawdog Smoking Fanatic

    A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while
    he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs
    some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and
    eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard
    balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow
    swallows it whole.
    The bartender screams at the guy, 'Did you see what your monkey just
    did?'
    The guy says 'No, what?'
    He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole!'
    'Yeah, that doesn't surprise me,' replied the guy, 'he eats everything
    in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and
    stuff.' He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the
    monkey ate, then leaves.
    Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He
    orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While
    the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on
    the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
    Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls
    it out, and eats it.
    The bartender is disgusted.
    'Did you see what your monkey did now?' he asks.
    'No, what?'replies the guy.
    'Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it
    out, and ate it!' said the bartender.
    Yeah, that doesn't surprise me,' replied the guy. 'He still eats
    everything in sight, but ever since he had to sh*t out that cue ball, he
    measures everything first.' [​IMG][​IMG]
     
  2. desertlites

    desertlites Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    LOL thats funny,happened to my brother stealing watermelons in west georgia once!jk.
     
  3. lawdog

    lawdog Smoking Fanatic

    ouch!!!![​IMG]
     
  4. kookie

    kookie Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    lol..............Thats funny........lol...........
     
  5. salmonclubber

    salmonclubber Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    lawdog

    thanks for this joke i laffed so hard today i had tears in my eyes i went to work and told it to the crew during lunch we all laffed so hard no one could finish there lunch thanks again
     

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