A Very British Joke (pg-13)

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by fat sal, Nov 8, 2007.

  1. fat sal

    fat sal Fire Starter

    I heard this joke on BBC radio several years ago. I nearly swallowed my tongue. It's, shall we say, very British.

    Sal

    * * * * * * * * * * *

    A man walks into the freak show exhibit of a travelling carnival. While perusing the freaks, he sees and falls madly in love with one of the Siamese twin sisters. Mustering all his courage, he goes up to the Siamese twin and asks her to dinner.

    “I’d love to join you for dinner,” she says, “but obviously my sister will need to come with us.”

    An hour later, they are having a wonderful dinner at a plush French restaurant--whereupon the man invites his date over to his apartment for a nightcap.

    “I’d love to join you for a nightcap,” she says, “but obviously my sister will need to come with us.”

    An hour later, they are sitting on the man’s sofa enjoying a snifter of Grand Marnier--whereupon he invites her into the bedroom for a little badda-bing.

    “I’d love to join you in the bedroom,” she says, “but obviously…”

    Minutes later, they are in bed frolicking between the sheets. The man suddenly stops and rolls over.

    “What’s the matter?” she asks.

    “I’m sorry,” he says, “but I just can’t go through with this. I mean, I feel very self-conscious with your sister being here. I just can’t relax!”

    “Calm down, calm down,” she says. “We have obviously been in this situation before, and we have a little plan that never fails. You see, my sister has brought along her trumpet. She will just trumpet out some tunes for the next hour and the music will drown out any noises that you might otherwise make.”

    The sister pulls out her trumpet, launches into a soulful rendition of “Play Misty For Me.” The man immediately starts to relax. He takes his date in his arms and they have a wonderful night of love. The next morning, the Siamese twins leave, the carnival packs up and moves on, and life returns to normal.

    Approximately one year later, the man is at home watching TV when the doorbell rings. He gets up and opens the door and, standing on the doorstep, are the Siamese twins. The one twin says to the man, “you probably don’t remember me…”
     
  2. flagriller

    flagriller Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    It's, shall we say, very British.


    Yes we shall say that! [​IMG]
     
  3. placebo

    placebo Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Ok you can post the punch line now.....
     
  4. richtee

    richtee Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    Hmm... two takes:

    One... and probably the 'usual" one..how could you FORGET a siamese twin?
    Two, it was the trumpet playing sister talking.

    Am I close, Sal? Brits DO have the driest sense of humor, for sure.
     
  5. fat sal

    fat sal Fire Starter

    Ok, Ok. From now on, I'll just stick with limericks. (Rated R)

    There once was a man named Sweeney.
    Who spilled some vermouth on his weenie.
    With a nod and a grin.
    He added some gin.
    And offered his date a Martini.
     
  6. richtee

    richtee Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    LOL! I know a sweeney! This will be priceless!
     
  7. dutch

    dutch Smoking Guru Staff Member Administrator Group Lead OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    What did he do with the olive on the skewer . . .? ah, never mind!
     
  8. badss

    badss Meat Mopper

    Good one Dutch LOL !
     

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