A Recent Trip To Costco

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by bearcarver, Jan 22, 2011.

  1. bearcarver

    bearcarver Smoking Guru OTBS Member


    Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog, and I was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog. 

    What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. 

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my  story) 

    Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

    I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff under an Irish Setter's  tail, and a car hit us both. 

    I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard. 

    Costco won't let me shop there anymore. 

    Better watch what you ask retired people! They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say! 

    coyote1 and mtbken like this.
  2. dale5351

    dale5351 Smoking Fanatic

    You are something else!

    I can just imagine being the guy in the line behind her, biting my tongue to keep from guffawing too loud and spoiling your fun.

    Retired Grey Beards of the world unite:-}}
  3. jirodriguez

    jirodriguez Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Ah... a good classic... I havent heard that one in a while. It's still damn funny! LOL
  4. bearcarver

    bearcarver Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    That wasn't really me, Dale.

    I just cleaned it up & posted it.

    I'm still laughing.

  5. markk

    markk Smoke Blower

    Thanks Bearcarver, I just spit coffee on my laptop. Funny joke.
  6. tjohnson

    tjohnson Smoking Guru Staff Member Moderator Insider OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Yea, Funny!

  7. nwdave

    nwdave Master of the Pit SMF Premier Member

    Well, I don't have a grey beard but does a moustache count?  Unfortunately, I'm in the "if I'd thought of it sooner, I'd have said" group.  Retired and working on it.[​IMG]
  8. That is simply HISTARICAL!

    Great one BEAR!

  9. fpnmf

    fpnmf Smoking Guru OTBS Member

  10. bobbygee

    bobbygee Smoke Blower

    I don't care who you are,That is just plain funny!
  11. beer-b-q

    beer-b-q Smoking Guru OTBS Member

  12. kingkoch42

    kingkoch42 Smoke Blower

    Last edited: Dec 8, 2011

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