a dispute over a duck (pg)

[oakvillebob]

A duck hunter sees a flock of ducks flying overhead, he aims his shotgun and manages to shoot one. The duck falls to the ground and the hunter goes over to pick it up and just when he grabs it a farmer comes over and says
'hey, that's my duck'. The hunter says to the farmer, I'm sorry but you see I shot the duck so it's mine. The farmer retorts, yes you shot it, but since it landed on my property it belongs to me. After going back and forth about ownship of the duck the farmer says...listen, in the country we have a way of solving this sort of problem...when in dispute we settle this like men. The hunter who is sort of bewilderded says... okay, how do we settle it? The farmer says you open your legs and I get to kick you in the groin; afterwards I open my legs and you get to kick me in the groin...we keep going back and forth until one man gives up. The hunter thinks about it and on principle agrees and says 'okay let's go'. The farmer says okay, open up. The hunter opens his legs and gets a really good kick that has him gasping for breath, a few minutes later he regains his composure and says, Okay, it's my turn...the farmer says.........
Listen, seeing as you want this duck so badly.....it's yours.

 

[Dutch]

Ah, an oldie but still a good 'un.

 

[dingle]

OUCH! That smarts

 

[travcoman45]

OOOOiiiiiiieeeeee!!!!!!

 

[oakvillebob]

Okay, I know it's an oldie, I first heard it 'bout 30 years ago myself and it probably was out many years before that...but here's a new one...and it is real life.
A buddy at work last week was rushing home from work at lunch to let his pup out to do its business because his wife was away on business and he knew that the pup couldn't hold it for more than 4 or 5 hours. He lives in a residential area and has to go through a few stops signs. At one of the signs he noticed that there was a man and his wife with a stroller who were crossing the street but not against the direction he was going so he came to a hollywood stop (not a complete stop) and kept going. He heard someone yelling and looked in his rearview and saw the woman yelling and giving him the finger. He stopped and rolled down his window (he's a really big guy) and asked what the problem was, she started to call him and every family member he has every name in the book for not comng to a complete stop in a family neighbourhood and after listening for a few seconds he asks the guy 'are you married to this women?, the guy answers yes...he says 'you poor bastard' and then drives away. He looked back and the guy was staring at the ground....poor bastard.

 

[richoso1]

What Dutch said.