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Well Crafted Repartees

post #1 of 3
Thread Starter 

Sadly, we are losing the art of the well-crafted repartee.

Here are some examples of classic repartees from times gone by:

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
-- Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
-- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
-- Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
-- Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... If you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... If there is one."
-- Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
-- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
-- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-- Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy."
-- Walter Kerr

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
-- Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
-- Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
-- Thomas Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
-- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-- Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
-- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-- Oscar Wilde

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-- Billy Wilder

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... For support rather than illumination."
-- -- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
post #2 of 3
This is One of the very best.

Bentsen to Dan Quale: Senator, I served with Jack Kennedy: I knew Jack Kennedy; Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy

Reviewer of Broadway play Cleopatra: Cleopatra barged down the Nile last night and sank.

From Hagar the horrible : Knight Rodney shouts a warning to the King, The Peasants are revolting, King Fink shouts back, They certainly are.

Can't think of any more just now.
post #3 of 3
Much more wisdom contained therein than most of us will be able to apply to our personal relationships anytime soon...

And a few good laughs along the road to knowledge as well!


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