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Men are just happier

post #1 of 2
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*If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each
other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
*If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to
each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.


*When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in
$20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
*When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


*A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
*A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's
on sale.


*A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel
*The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is
337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


*A woman has the last word in any argument.
*Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new


*A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
*A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


*A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
*A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


*A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
*A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


*A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty
the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
*A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


*Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
*Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


*Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.
*A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing!
post #2 of 2
I am vaguely aware that 2 short people will be flying in from Virginia to spend the summer with us. Today.

It's 11:08 AM and I am still unsure of what time they arrive. Mrs. Rivet will let me know when it is time to go to the airport and pick them up.

I think I'll be able to recognize them....they are lean, boney, and will break out in biggrins when they spot me!
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