post #1 of 1
Thread Starter 
And just when we thought the RICHTEE news story was yesterdays old news.......................and now it has moved from pork to venison?

AP News Release
News stations in the Michigan lower peninsula are reporting a follow up to yesterdays infamous pork bandit story. While police authorities had been concentrating their search efforts in the Holland Michigan area for a white van/orange ladders suspected in the hog heist of 2000 pounds of purloined pork, a second occurance of questionable acquisition of smoke quality meat has the state of Mighigan buzzing. What seemed a simple collision between deer and vehicle has now taken an ominus turn in this story that now has PETA advocates polishing their weapons of mass obstruction. Witnesses state that a early 2000 model white van with orange ladders and being driven by a male of obviously Hungarian decent, intentionaly swerved across 3 lanes of traffic to strike a deer that was crossing the road. The statement provided by the vans driver notes that this was normal driving behaviour for him and that the animal in question he struck by "accident" during his "lane change" was obviously a cow, "just look at the color! It has to be a cow!" the driver claimed.. Police and observers onsite were in the process of verifying the cow claim when the vans driver began to scream at rubber neckers that were removing what appeared to be large frozen pieces of meat from the rear of the van. Said driver then began to accost said rubber neckers with a hockey stick, and before county deputies could move in to investigate, the vans driver jumped into the van and managed to elude authorities during a low speed chase. At this moment the identity of the vans driver is still unknown as police were unable to complete the drivers statement before he fled the scene.
In an unrelated news story, a new movie is under development based on the growing popularity of this meat mizer, currently titled "Smoky & The Pork Bandit.