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Sorry Terry, I Couldn't Help Myself

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 


I ain't much for shopping, Or for goin' into town
Except at cattle-shipping time, I ain't too easily found.
But the day came when I had to go,I left the kids with Ma.
But 'fore I left, she asked me, "Would you pick me up a bra?"
So without thinkin' I said, "Sure," How tough could that job be?
An' I bent down and kissed her An' said, "I'll be back by three."
Well, I done the things I needed, But I started to regret
Ever offering to buy that thing I worked me up a sweat

I walked into the ladies shop My hat pulled over my eyes,
I didn't want to take a chance On bein' recognized.
I walked up to the sales clerk ,I didn't hem or haw -
I told that lady right straight out, "I'm here to buy a bra."
>From behind I heard some snickers, So I turned around to see
Every woman in that store Was a'gawkin' right at me!
"What kind would you be looking for?"Well, I just scratched my head.
I'd only seen one kind before, "Thought bras was bras," I said.

She gave me a disgusted look,"Well sir, that's where you're wrong.
Follow me," I heard her say, Like a dog, I tagged along.
She took me down this alley Where bras was on display.
I thought my jaw would hit the floor When I saw that lingerie.
They had all these different styles That I'd never seen before
I thought I'd go plumb crazy 'fore I left that women's store.
They had bras you wear for eighteen hours And bras that cross your heart.
There was bras that lift and separate, And that was just the start.

They had bras that made you feel Like you ain't wearing one at all,
And bras that you can train in When you start off when you're small.
Well, I finally made my mind up Picked a black and lacy one -
I told the lady, "Bag it up," And figured I was done.
But then she asked me for the size I didn't hesitate
I knew that measurement by heart, "A six-and-seven-eighths."
"Six and seven eighths you say? That really isn't right."
"Oh, yes ma'am! I'm real positive I measured them last night!"

I thought that she'd go into shock, Musta took her by surprise
When I told her that my wife's bust Was the same as my hat size.
"That's what I used to measure with,I figured it was fair,
But if I'm wrong, I'm sorry ma'am." This drew another stare.
By now a crowd had gathered And they all was crackin' up
When the lady asked to see my hat,To measure for the cup.
When she finally had it figured, I gave the gal her pay.
Then I turned to leave the store,Tipped my hat and said, "Good day."

My wife had heard the story 'fore I ever made it home.
She'd talked to fifteen women Who called her on the phone.
She was still a-laughin' But by then I didn't care.
Now she don't ask and I don't shop For women's underwear.
~ Author Unknown

post #2 of 9
LOL!!!! Good one! I'll have to try the hat size approach... I have a couple of hats with adjustable straps... PDT_Armataz_01_11.gif
post #3 of 9
That right there is some funny stuff!...Terry's gonna love it!!...

BTW...Don't y'all just love those 'Ten Gallon Hats'??...PDT_Armataz_01_11.gificon_redface.gifPDT_Armataz_01_18.gif
post #4 of 9
Coley, you lucky SOB!! eek.gif
post #5 of 9
well at leat he didn't demostrate using his hands!
post #6 of 9
LOL! Good one Blackhawk!
post #7 of 9
Ya know, I was in the Victoria Secrets store twice with a pretty lady, lookin at at those bras and panties and beautiful young women, my face was blood red and I'm sure that I poured out at least 10 gallons of sweat. redface.gif As good as it sounds in therory, I don't wanna go back in that store again. frown.gif I'll be puttin my hand over my heart and sayin, "dis is da big one lizabeth, I'm coming to join ya honey" eek.gif
post #8 of 9
Poor Terry! LOL!
post #9 of 9
Who?...ME??!!...PDT_Armataz_01_05.gif...I don't even OWN a Ten Gallon Hat!!...icon_cry.gif

Gotta admit, though...Them 'Ten Gallon Hats' could make a cowboy right PROUD!!...Huh, Hawg??!!...icon_redface.gif

If he was 'sight impaired', he could probably get away with using the 'Braille' method!...icon_redface.gif

BEEN there...DONE that...KNOW the feelin' all too well!!...Just hang in there Fred!...err...I mean, Terry!!...PDT_Armataz_01_18.gif

I agree Cowgirl!...He has such a hard time doesn't he!...

Maybe what he should do is hide in the racks so he wouldn't be seen!...

Then...when one of those 'Pretty Ladies' comes by the rack...he could yell...BUY ME!!...BUY ME!!...PDT_Armataz_01_28.gif
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