One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his
Sweat- shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."
And they say blondes are dumb.
----------------------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
------------------------------------------
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out
of the shower, "Honey, what do you think the Neighbors would think
if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
--------------------------------------
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their Special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat
him to death.
AMEN
----------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------ -
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
------------------------------------------
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
------------------------------------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
Sweat- shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."
And they say blondes are dumb.
----------------------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
------------------------------------------
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out
of the shower, "Honey, what do you think the Neighbors would think
if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
--------------------------------------
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their Special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat
him to death.
AMEN
----------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------ -
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
------------------------------------------
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
------------------------------------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
