or Connect
SmokingMeatForums.com › Forums › Just for Fun › Jokes › I Love This Doctor
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

I Love This Doctor

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 

I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the lifeof your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit.Brandyis distilled wine , that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beeris also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

You're not listening....Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

Are you crazy? HELLOCocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around!!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my l ifestyle?

Hey! 'Round' is a shape! !

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to
skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"

post #2 of 4
Sign me up to be one of his patients!

Take care, have fun, and do good!


post #3 of 4
LOL I like that guy!
post #4 of 4
Me too, makes perfect sense to me. icon_smile.gif Terry
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Jokes
SmokingMeatForums.com › Forums › Just for Fun › Jokes › I Love This Doctor