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In Memoriam-Aaron Charles Dowdle

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 
Two years ago today we lost our son Aaron Charles D. affectionately known as “Ace†(his first two initials) or “Whitey†because of his shockingly near white blond hair. Ace was 15 years old.

Ace was found beaten up and apparently left for dead on April 1st . When someone called his Mom at work, claiming to be a Police Officer and asking if we would come to the hospital, we thought it was a cruel April’s Fool prank being played on us by his friends. After calling a friend of mine at the Police Department, I learned that it was my friend that had made the call to my wife. When we arrived at the hospital, we found that Ace had been beaten so severely that his facial features were barely recognizable. Blunt force trauma to his head resulted in severe brain damage and coma, he also had a fractured jaw; broken ribs and a punctured lung. What kind of fiend could do this to another human being?

With the outstanding work of the Shock Trauma Team; Critical Care ICU; the Physical Therapy and the Respiratory Therapy staff, Aaron was able to move on to a Rehab. Center. Aaron’s Neurologist and Physical Therapy team asked us for permission to try a new form of therapy that was undergoing clinical trials for patients with severe brain trauma. This treatment is called Radial Nerve Stimulation; the improvement in Aaron’s motor skills was amazing and he was more alert and more readily able to respond to verbal instructions when undergoing this therapy.

Sunday morning, May 8th (Mother’s Day), Aaron took a turn for the worse and Sunday afternoon he passed over to the other side. We buried Aaron’s mortal remains next to his Grandfather (my Dad) on a warm May day that Dad would describe as a “good day for fishingâ€.

Aaron is the sixth child out of seven so our lives are still richly blessed but our hearts still have a void that will never be filled.

To those of you that have managed to read this far through my ramblings, please take a moment and give your children a hug and a kiss and let them know how much you love them (no matter how old they are!)-Trust me, you’ll never be able to tell them enough!!

I'll Lend You A Child

by Edgar Guest

"I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine," He said.
For you to love - while he lives
And mourn for when he's dead.
It may be six or seven years
Or twenty-two or three,
But will you, till I call him back,
Take care of him for Me?
He'll bring his smiles to gladden you,
And should this stay be brief
You'll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay,
Since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn.
I've looked this world over
In search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd
Life's lanes, I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love,
Nor count the labor vain,
Nor hate Me when I come to call to
Take him back again?"
I fancied that I heard then say,
"Dear Lord, Thy will be done,
For all the joy Thy child shall bring,
The risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness,
We'll love him while we may,
And for the happiness we've known
Forever grateful stay. But should the angels call for him
Much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes
And try to understand."

God speed, Aaron; we will be together again.
post #2 of 26
Dutch I am so sorry to hear of your lost. I'm at a loss for words <shocked to say the least> You and your family will be in my thought and prayers.

God Bless,

post #3 of 26
Hi Dutch, Voids in our life are always difficult, especially for those of us who have lost loved ones. However, the void in our physical life is temporary and we will again see and hold them some day. We simply have to keep the faith and allow the void in our heart to generate fond memories that will sustain us through the rest of our life. My heart goes out to you and your family at this difficult time. May God's grace surround you and help you as you recall memories both tragic and fond.

post #4 of 26
My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family Dutch. The loss of a child has to be the ultimate loss we can suffer in this life.
post #5 of 26
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Dutch
post #6 of 26
Dear Dutch,

We are so sorry about the death of your beautiful son Ace. We wish we could find words that would relieve your pain, but we cannot imagine what they are. Losing a child is one of the saddest life experiences possible, and words of true comfort are difficult to find.
Please know that we are thinking of you in your sorrow. You have our sincere condolences.
In sympathy,
Theresa & Bud.
post #7 of 26
Hey Dutch , I have one son , my only one, who means the whole world to me. I would be devastated if I ever lost him. I lost my second son in 1986 at six months old from crib death. I can imagine how you must have felt during that time.I'm sorry for your loss and if there is ever a time when you may need someone to talk to , let me know man.I'm a good listener.
post #8 of 26

I am so sorry to hear of your horrible loss. May the sorrow be replaced with all the fond memories of your loving son.

God's speed...
post #9 of 26
There aren't words...just know that you're family is in my heart and prayers. I will give my little unit an extra hug and kiss tonight.
post #10 of 26
Dutch and Family,
I too would like to add my heartfelt condolences to your loss of a son.

If I may be so bold, and if you want to, can we be advised as to the outcome for the perpetrator of such an act?
post #11 of 26
Hey Dutch,

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

post #12 of 26
With all my heart I believe there is nothing as dear as a mans family.Here in WV,family is our lifes blood which without it we could not maintain.Having known you and your deeds only through this forum,I have gained tremendous respect for you.I never had a son to be with but I am blessed with two wonderful daughters.I will heed your words of advise and give them a loving hug as I often do.Dutch I dont know if I could stand up in your shoes right now,but God bless you and your family for what your doing,Have faith,be strong and my family will be with you if only in spirit and mind and try to help you bear this heavy load.

Your friend,The Dotson Family
post #13 of 26
Earl, thank you for sharing this with us.
A moment of inspiration:

Aaron's Gift

There are no words or gestures
which can soften the pain
Brought on by such loss
so hard to explain.

I can only stand here
so many miles away
and shed a silent tear
As I wish your pain away.

Take comfort in your memories
whether odd, funny or fond
of your wonderful son Ace
with hair so shockingly blond

You know that he is near
In the comfort of our Lord
He is on that heavenly train
And hollering "All Aboard!"

So let us all take heed
of his too short time here
and always remember to say
"I love you, Dear!"

Through Whitey's passing
There is a lesson, at length
Through him you have found
A deeper broader strength.

May the Lord keep and Bless your family!
post #14 of 26
First thankyou for sharing something so personal with us, your "extended family".

My sympathies to you and your family, may God hold you tight and help you threw this difficult time.

My family will keep you in our prayers.
post #15 of 26
So sorry to hear of your loss...memories are always so painful...The Good Lord gives us the strength to continue on...you and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers...
Richard and Deb...
post #16 of 26
Dutch -

I am at a loss for words, but there is one that is never at a loss for words:

"The hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear [Jesus'] voice and come out, those who did good things to a resurrection of life, those who practiced vile things to a resurrection of judgment."—John 5:28, 29

Big Hugs Brother Earl!
post #17 of 26
Dutch...very sorry to learn of your loss....life will never be the same again...and although we continue on ,we still live life ,just differently :(
post #18 of 26
Dutch -

sorry for your loss of your son , my heart beats heavy for you and your family , it brings back old memories .
post #19 of 26
Thread Starter 
Marvin, when I talked to the Capt. last week, he told me that they still a leads that come in and they followup on. Unfortunately, most of the tips that come in just takes the investigators back over previously covered ground. They have a strong feeling of who the perp is but they don't have all the evidence to convict.

Having worked Law Enforcement, I know the frustration that they feel. Being a parent, I would like to see closure on this case. I know that if this animal goes through life without being convicted by Judge or jury, I know that he/they will have to answer to a much Higher Authority.
post #20 of 26
Thread Starter 
To all-Thank you for your prayers and words of support, it means so much to our family.

Monty, once again my friend, you amaze me with your words of inspiration. A fine addition to "Aaron's Wall" or at least to his scrapbook.

Debi, Thanks for reminding me of the verse from John 5. My Bishop read that very scripture at Aaron's funereal. It struck me as something worth re-reading and I have those verses marked in my Bible.

God Bless you all for easing this mans burdens, if only for a little while.
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