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A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done
anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on a trip to the
Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were
threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they
wouldn't listen.

So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked
him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw
it on the ground. I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or you'll answer to me!"

St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple minutes ago."