Credit to SteveH on another website:
Since my wife has declared herself to be anti-charcoal, I cooked some burgers and dogs on my piece of garbage brinkwomann grill this weekend.
Here is my recipe:
Since my wife has declared herself to be anti-charcoal, I cooked some burgers and dogs on my piece of garbage brinkwomann grill this weekend.
Here is my recipe:
- 1lb hamburger meat, lowest quality possible since you're ruining it anyways
- cheap off-brand hotdots to better absorb the taste of failure
- chinese cheese slices (since gas grills are un-American)
- 3 tsp of your own tears
- Rub the rust off of your crappy gas grill
- Put all 7 pounds of rust in a bucket to haul off for scrap
- sculpt that meat into something resembling patties, without washing your hands
- Turn your grill knobs to somewhere between 'hotter than the blazes of hell' and 'colder than your wife's heart'
- Accept that there is no in-between with this horrendous contraption
- Use a lighter to light it since your grill is a piece of crap
- Glance mournfully at your weber kettle grill, cast off to the corner of the deck
- check the lid thermometer to make sure that it is still a worthless piece of crap
- put the food on, try to avoid the hot spots and cold spots that comprise 98% of the cooking surface
- tell your drum smoker that you're so sorry for neglecting it
- cook your crappy food until it is charred in a passive-aggressive attempt to change your wife's mind
- season generously with your tears of failure as a man
- plate the food. garnish with some grass clippings, since it is now more suitable for animal consumption