In all seriousness, I do know what smoking is, and have a basic (and I mean BASIC) understanding of what to do, and how it works. I'm a science nerd of sorts, so the chemistry behind smoking makes perfect sense to me.
I currently do not own a grill or Smoker, they were left with my in-laws in Ohio. I'm still crying over that one.
I'm in the process of building a UDG, and will be using it as a smoker until I start and finish my UDS. If you haven't guessed, I like old drums.
My wife idea of smoked meat is to pour liquid smoke over it, she tried that once and I spent the night in the dog house, but it never happened again.
I have read several of the posts on smoking, and I feel like I have a better than average chance now to get something edible from my smoker. I'll post some pics next month once I get the grill/ smoker running.
Currently in Eastern WA but with my job/ life... that will probably not stay that way long.